Here’s what you can do when your peeps are negative, fearful, and don’t
support your ass kickery:
Do not try to change them. Encourage them,
love them, offer advice when
asked, tell them you think they’re the bee’s knees, but don’t make it your project
to try to get them to see the light. First of all, you can’t get them to do anything
unless they’re willing to evolve. If they’re stuck in fear about you changing your
life, as well as fearful about changing their own lives, they will wake up if and
when they’re ready to, not when you tell them to. Second of all, it’s their journey,
their choice on how they ride it out. Third of all, it will
put everyone involved in a
bad mood because you’ll feel frustrated and they’ll feel nagged.
Lead by example. Instead of telling them what they should and shouldn’t be
doing, work on yourself, become the best you can be, and if they ask how you
did it, do all you can to help them, and if they don’t ask, leave them alone.
Do not share your dreams with them or the work you’re doing on yourself if
they’ve proven to you that they’re not going to support you and/or will fling their
doubt and worry in your face. What’s the point? You still get to love them and be
with them, you just don’t involve them in that part of your life.
Hang out with people who are going places, who understand and support the
path you’re on, who are your new tribe. If you don’t know any people like this,
find some. Figure it out. Go to coaching seminars,
find people on social media,
take classes, start a self-help book group—if you’re serious about it you will find
your people.
When the people in our lives who we love aren’t supportive of the
journey we’re on it’s excruciating because, hello, what’s more important
than the people in our lives who we love? Our connection to them is one of
the most vital things we’ve got, and when we start to grow and change and
they don’t come with us, a big ole can of worms often gets unearthed for
everyone involved. It unleashes the Great Human Fear at the Bottom of All
Other Fears:
I will be abandoned (by people, by all that’s familiar, by my
identity, by my life = I’ll die, etc.).
And the reality is, if we’re going to fully
blossom into who we truly are, we have to be willing to let these
relationships go.
IMPORTANT LETTING GO NOTE: Being willing to let people go does
not mean that they will definitely go. But you can’t cling to the old you and
your old relationships and grow into the new you at the same time. You
have to choose one or the other: Cling and stay or grow and release and see
if they come along for the ride.
I see it go both ways all the time. I’ve seen plenty of marriages break up
when one person is moving forward and the other is stuck in fear, and I’ve
seen people come closer together than they ever imagined they could
because they both opened up to who they were becoming (sometimes it
takes awhile for the other person to come around, but not always). You
don’t know what is going to happen, you have
no guarantee that someone in
your life will freak out or laugh at you or have an epiphany and come join
you on your joy ride to awesomeness. Trying to troubleshoot outcomes,
denying yourself your dreams, not daring to take large leaps so the people
around you won’t be all “someone’s gotten mighty big for her britches!” is
a complete waste of time (and your life). Focus on you, and what makes
you hop back and forth from foot to foot in excitement, because not living
your life is no way to live.
When you succumb to fear, you are under the illusion that you can predict
the future.
We waste so much time letting our fears push us around and half the
time our fears and doubts never even freaking pan out! You’d think we
would have caught on to that one by now.
Stay focused on your desires, not
your fears, and trust that everything will fall into place as it’s meant to.
What happens as you grow and change is you peel away the layers of your
old self, and things of a lower nature drop away in order to make room for
things of a higher nature. These could be parts of your old identity, it could
be that old-ass bathrobe you refuse to throw away that you’ve had since
college, it could be relationships that no longer serve you or the other
person (“lower nature” here means people/things you’ve outgrown, that are
not aligned with who you’re becoming, btw, it doesn’t mean that you’re
suddenly above or better than anyone/anything). Whatever it is you’re
shedding, you must surrender the low to make space for the high if you’re
going to grow.
Here are some key ways hanging with high-frequency people will help
you get rich.
