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American Dialogues


24. Long Live the King!
– Hey, long time, no see!
– Hi there! Good to see you. Yes, I guess it’s been awhile…
– Where’ve you been? Hawaii? You’ve got a nice tan. I’m envious!
– No, not Hawaii. I’m back from Las Vegas. Got off the plane an hour ago.
– Well, that’s almost as good. How was it? Hit any jackpots?
– No. No jackpots for me. I don’t gamble, you know.
– No way! You went to Vegas and didn’t even gamble? That’s weird! 
Then, what were you doing there, if not gambling?
– Oh, this and that. We went to a couple of shows. I spent a lot of time in the pool. 
The buffets were pretty good.
– Yeah, I love the buffets in Vegas. Great food and dirt cheap, too.
– Yeah, Mary and I stuffed ourselves with steaks and lobsters. I felt like a pig.
– Hey, did you see any Elvises? 
I think it’s about the right time for that annual Elvis Presley convention.
– Yeah, right! 
I was wondering what that bunch of fat guys with sideburns and sunglasses were doing.
– It’s pretty funny though when they start twisting and wiggling and saying:
“Thank you! Thank you very much!”
– Elvis forever, man!
– Long live the King!


25.
The Impossible Book
– Hey, let’s go for a walk or something!
– Oh, I’m kind of busy here…
– Busy bee as always. What are you doing? Reading again? Let me see the title.
– It’s a bit silly, actually. You’re gonna laugh. 
The title is “It is impossible to teach you a foreign language”.
– So? Like I didn’t know. I always knew there was no way I could be taught a foreign language.
– That’s exactly the point the author makes. His whole argument is that you must teach yourself. 
You can learn it only yourself, from within; no one can teach you, from without. 
No teacher, no professor, no one.
– Well, hmm… maybe, it’s not as stupid as the title sounds.
– No, it’s not. It’s pretty funny but also smart at the same time. I think you’d like it.
– I’m suspicious. The guy probably sells you some snake oil in the end. One of those scam artists.
– Nothing of the kind. You just are being cynical. You’ve got to trust people a little more.
– If you say so, but I’m intrigued. Maybe, I can borrow the book from you sometime.
– Sure. When I’m done with it. By the way, you can download it from the Web. For free.
– Really? Maybe, I’ll do that. You can’t beat free…


26. How Are You, Officer?
– How are you, officer? Is there something wrong? I haven’t done anything, have I?
– Good morning, sir. The radar showed you speeding. You know the speed limit here? 
– Well, no, I don’t know…
– Really? The sign is right in front of you, sir.
– Oh, I see. You’re right, officer, but I didn’t notice it. Sorry, officer.
– Your license, registration, and insurance, please.
– OK, let me see. Here they are, officer.
– It’s only the license and registration. You have insurance, don’t you, sir?
– Yes, officer. Of course, I do, officer.
– Let me see it then, sir.
– Sorry, I’m sure I put it in the glove compartment somewhere. It’s so hot today, isn’t it, officer? 
It’s a tough job to sit all day on the bike in the sun, like you do…
– Your insurance, sir.
– Sorry. I’ve found it! Here it is! 
– Let me see it. It seems in order. 
– Of course, it is. Officer, let me explain about the speeding. Everybody was going…
– It doesn’t matter, sir. It was you on the radar. I’m giving you a ticket. 
Fifty dollars for the first time infraction. Have a nice day, sir.
– Oh, man!


27. That’s the Spirit!
– I was given a ticket today.
– Really? What for? You are such a good driver.
– Speeding. I was going down that hill and the damned cop ambushed me. 
Caught me on his radar.
– Where was it, you said?
– Oh, you know… that hill with the fancy house on top.
– The red roof house? With the trees around it?
– That’s it. I was driving right past it when the cop pulled me over.
– But, the traffic cops sit there all the time. It’s their favorite hiding place. You didn’t know?
Everybody knows that.
– Well, I didn’t.
– How much is it?
– Fifty bucks for the first time. I was caught for the first time in my life, damn it!
– Everybody gets caught sooner or later. What are you gonna do? Pay it?
– Well, it says right here I can either pay it or appear in court. I’ll fight it! It’s unfair! 
They’ve got no right to ambush! Why don’t they go and catch some real criminals for a change!
– That’s the spirit! Go get them!
– You’re damned right I will!



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