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20. What’s Up, Bro?
– Hey, what’s up, bro?
– Not much. Got myself a new computer. Have a look.
– Wow! That’s fancy stuff! A real mean machine! A dual core processor and all!
– It’s special designed for gaming. It’s a powerhouse. It’s got the latest everything and more.
A gazillion of real awesome gadgets.
– Cool, man. Where’d you get the money? Rob a bank? It costs at least ten grand.
– Fifteen Gs in a store near you. But for me, it was free.
– No way, man!
Or, maybe, Bill Gates turned out to be your long lost uncle and gave it to you as a gift?
“Luke, I’m your father! Here’s some small change for you…”
– Not really. But, the Force was with me and this Young Jedi got hired as a game tester.
– A what?
– A game tester. They pay me to test their computer games.
– That’s wacky, man! They pay you to play? No way, man!
– Way! And, they gave me this computer.
I’m supposed to be giving them feedback on the games they develop.
There may be bugs in the software and they pay testers like me to find them.
– Does it pay well?
– It ain’t bad for just sitting around playing. I used to do it for free anyway…
– May the Force be with you, bro!
21. Beam Me Up, Scotty!
– Looks like our buddy Steve got rich. Probably won the state lottery or something.
I saw him drive around in a red Lamborghini the other day.
It must be worth at least half a mil.
– Yeah, I know. I talked to him yesterday and even had a ride in that rocket of his.
– So, what’s his story?
– You won’t believe it.
– Try me.
– OK. You know that our neighbor Stevie never in his life had a job.
So, he sits around all day in his underwear watching “Star Trek” and browsing the paper.
Well, about a week ago he goes through the automotive classifieds and he sees that ad.
A Lamborghini for a hundred bucks!
And being the stupid Trekkie he is he just calls the number.
The guy on the other side says “Yep. Come on over and bring the money.”
Stevie says to himself “What the heck, it’s only a ten minute drive, what am I gonna lose?”
You with me so far?
– Yes, I am. Go on.
– Let’s have a beer first. I had a tough day. You wanna a beer?
– Sure. Beam me up, Scotty!
22. Live Long and Prosper!
– Hey, thanks for the beer, man. Go on with the story, will you?
– So, you like it so far, uh?
– You bet I do! The suspense’s killing me. I’m on my toes waiting for the punch line!
– All right then, it gets even better. Our Captain Kirk gets there;
the guy gives him the signed title and the keys
and off our Stevie goes in his new Lamborghini.
– No, you must be kidding!
– I kid you not, man.
The story, apparently, is that the guy was in the middle of a very ugly divorce.
I mean ugly. Ugly as they can get. He and his ex-wife fought over that Lamborghini for years.
Finally, the judge rules that the guy must sell the car and give the money to his ex.
– Oh, no!
– Oh, yes, my man! Oh, yes! So, the guy tells the judge, very quietly, mind you,
“Yes, your honor!
Of course, your honor!” He sells his car to our trailer trash pal for the one hundred bucks
and sends the check to his ex. The curtain falls. End of story.
– Oh my, oh my, oh my! Looks like the stupid ones have all the luck in the world!
– Let’s drink to our lucky Captain Steve and his new spaceship!
– Live long and prosper!
23. It’s A Free Country
– Have you seen the presidential debate last night?
– Well, I’m sorry to say I have.
– You don’t seem to be very impressed.
– Impressed, I was. By their incredible stupidity!
The Republican guy kept talking about “nu-killer” weapons. He can’t even say “nuclear”.
I don’t believe he went to Harvard. Probably slept all the way through it…
– Well, brains are not his strong side. I give you that. What about the other guy? The Democrat.
– Democrat, my foot! He’s got more money in his pocket
than Bill Gates and Donald Trump together.
The other day, they showed his ranch in California, and it was the size of Long Island.
And he “stands for the poor”. Yeah, right…
– Eeny meeny miny moe, catch the vote by the toe! So, you gonna vote this time around?
– No way, Jose!
– But, I will. If you don’t mind, of course.
– Go ahead. It’s still a free country. Kind of…
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