Why Men Love Bitches

When you alter the routine, 
your not being there
at times is what will make him come around.
Men don’t respond to words.
What they respond to is 
no contact.
This applies to whether you are dating or married. If you need to
renew the mental challenge, alter the pattern. Whenever he seems
complacent, just alter the pattern. Single women often make plans
based on when the man calls. Married women often wait for a man
to come home from work. And single and married women alike
regularly wait by the phone for a call.
Tracy is a woman who benefited from altering the pattern in her
marriage. She used to feel as though her husband, Allen, took her
for granted when he would travel out of town on business. Tracy
used to wait for Allen’s long-distance call every night, even if it
meant giving up her own plans to do so. Predictably, Allen started
to behave as if calling her was a chore, as though he was “checking

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in.” Or punching a clock. He’d call around 7:30 
P.M.
and then rush
her off the phone so he could go out for drinks with his colleagues.
Girlfriend decided to rock the boat. How? By staying just outside
his reach. When he went on his next business trip, she drove him to
the airport and didn’t say, “Call me when you get there.” For the
entire trip, half the time she was there when he called; the other half
she couldn’t be reached. She was out visiting some girlfriends she
hadn’t seen in awhile, and didn’t rush home to wait for his call.
The first evening that Tracy didn’t wait for his call, Allen flipped.
His whole orientation changed immediately. He called at 7:30 
P.M.
and virtually every half-hour after that until 10:30 
P.M.
He went out,
had 
half a
drink, and then went right back to his room to call his
wife again. Tracy walked in at 10:59; the phone rang at 11:01.
Whereas before it was a chore, now Allen was happy to reach
her. She was happy, too, especially when she looked down at the
answering machine and saw that it was flashing a big red 
9.
(Six
messages from him, and three mysterious hang-ups.) And everyone
went to bed happy
Suddenly Allen missed Tracy. Why? Because she had a life of
her own outside of their relationship.
Never stop living your life. Take a class. Develop a hobby. Meet
people. You are only as interesting as the depths of your 
own
interests.
The mere fact that you are content with your life keeps you
interesting. You are happy with him or without him and this keeps

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you . . . just outside his reach.
A textbook example is Ellen, a married woman who felt taken for
granted. She regularly cooks dinner for her husband, Sydney, and
their two kids. Sydney was the only one working, and he frequently
stayed late at the office. Usually he didn’t show up for dinner. What
upset her most, however, was that Sydney would leave her guessing
about his dinner plans, and didn’t call if he was running very late.
Sometimes she’d reheat his plate three times before he got home.
She had formed a pattern of saying, “The kids need to see you at
the dinner table, Sydney”. But night after night, she found herself
reheating his dinner, long after their kids had gone to bed.
Ellen, like many nice girls, was too tolerant. The bitch, on the
other hand, would rearrange the dinner agenda. She would 
alter
the routine.
In a nice quiet moment, she’d look at her husband and
casually say, “Hey sweetie, I can see you aren’t going to be home
during the week. So, I’m not going to bother to cook for you. If
there are leftovers from the kids, I’ll put them in the fridge. But it
may be better if you picked something up on the way home.”
For a few nights he’d pick up some food on the way home. The
first night he’d grab some Kentucky Fried Chicken, perhaps. The
second night he’d upgrade to a deli. And after the cold pastrami
sandwich from the corner deli, he’d have a little Alka-Seltzer to
help with the heartburn. It wouldn’t be long before he’d be coming
home for a home-cooked meal, 
happily.
And sliding into home . . .
right on time.
Another woman named Sandy told me about how she felt taken

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for granted when she was on her hands and knees cleaning the
kitchen floor, after she had cooked for her husband, Wade. He had
just started eating and then he came over to her and said, “It is
really inconsiderate of you to clean the floor right now. That stuff
stinks. Could you please wait until I’m finished eating?” She resisted
the urge to strangle him.
For the rest of the week, Sandy backed off. She spoke to him
very superficially and became a loof. He had to ask her, “What’s
wrong?” a dozen times before she addressed what was on her
mind. She went from “worker bee” to “queen bee” in just a few
short days.
First stop on Sandy’s agenda? A maid. She absolutely insisted
on it. Then she addressed some table etiquette. Wade often started
eating without her and got up before she ever sat down. She said
she didn’t cook for two, so that she could eat alone. She also
suggested going out to eat sometimes, even if it was to a less
expensive place. Then she stuck to her guns. Not only do they now
have a maid, they also have “date night” once a week.
In both of these instances, by altering the “dinner agenda,” the
women let their husbands know without words that they, too, had
something to lose. Their actions said: “Either we meet in the middle
or we don’t meet.” (And you won’t eat.)
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #89