Why Men Love Bitches

He perceives an emotional woman
as more of a pushover.
My friend Gary races cars, and he shared a story about a
girlfriend who nagged him. After a particular racing event, Gary was
sitting next to his girlfriend in the stands. A couple of friendly women
approached them and asked for his autograph. He recalls, “I
couldn’t believe my girlfriend got so upset because I didn’t
introduce her as my girlfriend. I just forgot, but she kept nagging.

---

She even pouted.” What he said next is interesting: “Do you know
what the biggest turnoff is? A 
martyr.”
We don’t know if she overreacted because he may have been
flirting up a storm. But what’s interesting about this story is his
choice of the word 
martyr.
She was trying to use guilt to control
and manipulate him; and men resent being manipulated. On the
other hand, if she had backed off subtly, he’d have seen a woman
who has pride and dignity—both of which are powerfully attractive
qualities.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #63
In the same way that familiarity breeds
contempt, a slightly aloof demeanor
can often renew his respect.
If a man isn’t being nice when you’re out, all you have to do is
remain polite and then go home early. “I have a big day tomorrow.
[Yawn.]
We need to call this an early night.” The next time you go
out, he’ll be on his best behavior.
An acquaintance of mine named Cynthia told me a funny story
about her boyfriend. They were seeing each other exclusively, and
one night he went to a stripbar. She was not a happy camper and
wanted to discourage him from going again. She did not nag. A
couple of days later, she pretended that she had gotten a job at a
local strip club. “Checking coats. Isn’t that great?” Then she talked
about finding the right platform shoes.
On their next date, she wore hot pink lipstick and teased her hair
as though she’d been electrocuted. Then came the light blue
eyeshadow on the entire lid, all the way up to the eyebrow. He

---

wanted to see “hoochies” and girlfriend delivered a “superdeluxe
hoochie” package.
It didn’t take long before he came unglued: “I don’t want my
woman in a place like that!” This began a discussion that ended in a
mutual agreement that they would both stay out of “places like that.”
(See? Why argue your case when you can get him to argue it for
you?)
There are times when a serious issue arises, and there is a need
for a more serious discussion. If and when this situation presents
itself, there is still a way of emphasizing your position 
without
nagging or repeating yourself several times. If he asks, “Is something
wrong?” take a breath and respond calmly. “Yes, something is
wrong, but I’d like to talk about it later. I really don’t want to talk
about it now.”
Instead of being muted, the volume is now turned up and the
surround-sound is on. Chances are you won’t have to say a word
because by the time you do get around to discussing it, he’s already
made sure he won’t do it again. Meanwhile, he’s thinking of ways
to make it up to you. All before you’ve said one word. Better, no?
It’s like he’s defragmenting his hard drive. You’re making him
clean up his own hard drive without any nagging what-soever. You
walk away and do your own thing . . . while he is “self-correcting”
himself.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #64