Why Men Love Bitches

When you nag, 
you
 become the problem,
and he deals with it by tuning you out.
But when you don’t nag, he deals with 
the problem.
When there is a problem, men love to “fix” it. By nagging, you
make it seem as though the problem lies with you. A perfect
example is Diana, who started nagging her husband to fix a latch in
the laundry room. After the third time she asked, he became so
irritated that no force on earth could get him to fix that latch.
One evening some friends came over. While her husband was
within earshot, Diana asked her friend’s husband to fix the latch in
the laundry room, in that sweet “damsel in distress” tone of voice
that men eat up. Then she started looking for a screwdriver. Before
she could even turn around, her husband ran up the stairs like
Speedy Gonzales and fixed the latch in two minutes flat.
Men despise it when other men fix things for them. It’s a
territorial thing—like some other man is treading on his turf. When
you’ve asked him to do something a few times and he doesn’t do it,
say, “Honey, it’s okay. I don’t need you to do it anymore. Ed, our
nextdoor neighbor, said he’d come over and do it.” If you don’t
have a neighbor, tell him his best friend will come do it. This is how
you will get whatever it is you want done, right then and there.
My friend Lucy noticed that when she asked her husband for
help in various ways, he was less attentive. For example, she often
asked him to help bring in the groceries when she came back from
the market. He was always in the middle of something, so he said,
“Give me a minute.” A minute later she said, “The food is going to
spoil.” And she kept repeating herself. “The food is going to go

---

bad. If you’re going to do it, please do it now.” Every time she went
to the market, it became a power struggle.
Then she stopped asking for his help and she noticed a change.
When she brought in the groceries and he asked if she wanted a
hand she said, “No thanks, sweetie. I’ve got it.” Suddenly, he was
out there insisting on bringing in the groceries.
Then there’s my friend Rayanna, who found herself repeatedly
nagging her husband to take their child to school. He always made
excuses to avoid doing the driving. But instead of nagging him,
Rayanna found a single dad down the street to carpool with. When
her husband got wind of the fact that a neighbor was doing the
driving, suddenly Papa Bear put a chauffeur hat on.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #60