Why Men Love Bitches

you’ll create a void. Then, to replace what
you give up, you’ll start to expect and
need more from your partner.
A classic example is Theresa. She takes salsa dance classes two
nights a week. When she met her last boyfriend, she stopped going
to her dance classes because he didn’t like to dance. She also
played tennis, but he didn’t play; so she stopped that hobby as well.
Seems harmless, right? Not really. She’s giving up what she likes.
The reason the nice girl gives up these activities is also telling of her
self-confidence. Often she gives up something because she fears he
won’t like her the way she is.
In addition, this cumulative reduction of activities eventually adds
up to a significant change in 
who
she is. At some point the man
notices, and it turns him off because he realizes—before she does—
that she’s lost her independence.
What happens after she’s lost her independence? Let’s take a
look at the “state of the union” with Theresa, the woman who gave
up salsa classes and tennis. She said, “We spent almost every night

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of the week together and fell into that pattern almost immediately.
He didn’t tell me it was ‘too much’ for him. He just didn’t smile
much and it seemed like he wasn’t happy anymore. I was becoming
more insecure and I kept trying harder to be affectionate. I just
wanted him to be like he was in the beginning.”
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #44
Most women are starving to receive
something from a man that they need to
give to themselves.
The nice girl thinks she’s giving up something to get something
better
in return. She gives up control over her own life. When the
time comes for her to get what she had expected, she winds up
disappointed. In addition to being empty-handed, she’s depleted.
A man rarely realizes just how much the nice girl gives up. He
doesn’t make the same sacrifices because she’s adjusting her life to
be with him. After she gives up everything in her life, she begins to
demand the same of him. She wants him to stop seeing family and
friends. She wants him to spend all of his free time with her. If he
goes to the gym, she wants to accompany him.
He doesn’t feel this pressure from a bitchier woman, so he wants
to be around her more, not less, and he respects her because she
appears to have “a life.” Suppose a woman says to a guy she can’t
go on a date with him that night because of her weekly pottery

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class. He scratches his head and thinks, “She’d rather go to a
pottery class than be with me?” It not only attracts him; it blows his
mind.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #45