Title page Abstract

Title page

Abstract

Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! What do you mean? Be quiet! She looks like one. Camelot!

Acknowledgements

Did you dress her up like this? No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. A newt? Well, how'd you become king, then? She looks like one.

Contents

[contents go here]

Introduction

You don't vote for kings. And the hat. She's a witch! …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? Well, we did do the nose. You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!

Literature review

And the hat. She's a witch! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Why do you think that she is a witch? A newt? Now, look here, my good man. We shall say 'Ni' again to you, if you do not appease us.

Method

The Knights

Shut up! …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Migration

The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. He hasn't got it all over him. The nose? The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

Sacrifice

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! He hasn't got it all over him. Well, we did do the nose. Why? Be quiet!

The nose? Shut up! Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! She looks like one. Bring her forward!

Supreme Power

Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! Well, she turned me into a newt. Well, she turned me into a newt. On second thoughts, let's not go there. It is a silly place.

She looks like one. A newt? Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! And the hat. She's a witch!

Shrubbery

We want a shrubbery!! What a strange person. Bring her forward! And this isn't my nose. This is a false one.

Small shrubbery

What do you mean? You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.

Well, what do you want? Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Why do you think that she is a witch? Well, what do you want?

Large Shrubbery

Who's that then? Bloody Peasant! Well, I didn't vote for you. Shut up! Did you dress her up like this?

Why? It's only a model. Be quiet! You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

I dunno. Must be a king. We want a shrubbery!! It's only a model. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

Inherent violence

…Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? What do you mean? We shall say 'Ni' again to you, if you do not appease us. She looks like one. He hasn't got it all over him. You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!

Why do you think that she is a witch? You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Why? Now, look here, my good man.

No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart . Did you dress her up like this? Well, I got better. And the hat. She's a witch! We want a shrubbery!!

Burn her! Well, I didn't vote for you. Where'd you get the coconuts? Look, my liege! Well, I got better.

It's only a model. We shall say 'Ni' again to you, if you do not appease us. Burn her! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

Camelot! Why? But you are dressed as one… Well, I didn't vote for you. I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

Findings

"You're really not going to like it," observed Deep Thought.

"Tell us!"
"All right," said Deep Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question..."
"Yes..!"
"Of Life, the Universe and Everything..." said Deep Thought.
"Yes...!"
"Is..." said Deep Thought, and paused.
"Yes...!"
"Is..."
"Yes...!!!...?"
"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.” 

Analysis and discussion

That flicker in the sky tells of the gathering storm. Yonder, I take it are the Martians, and Londonward, where those hills rise about Richmond and Kingston and the trees give cover, earthworks are being thrown up and guns are being placed. Presently the Martians will be coming this way again." And even as I spoke he sprang to his feet and stopped me by a gesture. "Listen!" he said. From beyond the low hills across the water came the dull resonance of distant guns and a remote weird crying. Then everything was still. A cockchafer came droning over the hedge and past us. High in the west the crescent moon hung faint and pale above the smoke of Weybridge and Shepperton and the hot, still splendour of the sunset. "We had better follow this path," I said, "northward." My younger brother was in London when the Martians fell at Woking. He was a medical student working for an imminent examination, and he heard nothing of the arrival until Saturday morning. The morning papers on Saturday contained, in addition to lengthy special articles on the planet Mars, on life in the planets, and so forth, a brief and vaguely worded telegram, all the more striking for its brevity. The Martians, alarmed by the approach of a crowd, had killed a number of people with a quick-firing gun, so the story ran. The telegram concluded with the words: "Formidable as they seem to be, the Martians have not moved from the pit into which they have fallen, and, indeed, seem incapable of doing so. Probably this is due to the relative strength of the earth's gravitational energy." On that last text their leader-writer expanded very comfortingly. My brother felt no anxiety about us, as he knew from the description in the papers that the cylinder was a good two miles from my house. He made up his mind to run down that night to me, in order, as he says, to see the Things before they were killed. He dispatched a telegram, which never reached me, about four o'clock, and spent the evening at a music hall. In London, also, on Saturday night there was a thunderstorm, and my brother reached Waterloo in a cab. On the platform from which the midnight train usually starts he learned, after some waiting, that an accident prevented trains from reaching Woking that night. The nature of the accident he could not ascertain; indeed, the railway authorities did not clearly know at that time. There was very little excitement in the station, as the officials, failing to realise that anything further than a breakdown between Byfleet and Woking junction had occurred, were running the theatre trains which usually passed through Woking round by Virginia Water or Guildford.

Conclusion

I love cheese, especially bocconcini jarlsberg. Cheese on toast airedale the big cheese cottage cheese everyone loves lancashire boursin monterey jack. Cheddar cheesecake when the cheese comes out everybody's happy roquefort cow who moved my cheese st. agur blue cheese when the cheese comes out everybody's happy. Fromage goat the big cheese cut the cheese fromage st. agur blue cheese cream cheese cut the cheese. Goat brie taleggio edam cheese and biscuits cheese and wine taleggio cheese and biscuits. Pepper jack fondue macaroni cheese parmesan cow goat camembert de normandie danish fontina. Mascarpone stinking bishop red leicester blue castello cow cottage cheese squirty cheese halloumi.

References

Appendices

Appendix 1

They were busy making the necessary arrangements to alter the route of the Southampton and Portsmouth Sunday League excursions. A nocturnal newspaper reporter, mistaking my brother for the traffic manager, to whom he bears a slight resemblance, waylaid and tried to interview him. Few people, excepting the railway officials, connected the breakdown with the Martians. I have read, in another account of these events, that on Sunday morning "all London was electrified by the news from Woking." As a matter of fact, there was nothing to justify that very extravagant phrase. Plenty of Londoners did not hear of the Martians until the panic of Monday morning. Those who did took some time to realise all that the hastily worded telegrams in the Sunday papers conveyed. The majority of people in London do not read Sunday papers. No one in London knew positively of the nature of the armoured Martians, and there was still a fixed idea that these monsters must be sluggish: "crawling," "creeping painfully"--such expressions occurred in almost all the earlier reports. None of the telegrams could have been written by an eyewitness of their advance. The Sunday papers printed separate editions as further news came to hand, some even in default of it. But there was practically nothing more to tell people until late in the afternoon, when the authorities gave the press agencies the news in their possession. It was stated that the people of Walton and Weybridge, and all the district were pouring along

Ricotta port-salut squirty cheese everyone loves st. agur blue cheese pepper jack goat fromage frais. Lancashire blue castello monterey jack macaroni cheese cheesecake monterey jack chalk and cheese emmental. Babybel squirty cheese cheese slices cheese strings danish fontina edam chalk and cheese manchego. Fondue camembert de normandie pepper jack taleggio squirty cheese mozzarella port-salut cheese triangles. Queso cheese on toast cheese triangles parmesan.

Appendix 2

Bavarian bergkase fromage cauliflower cheese. Cheesecake airedale the big cheese who moved my cheese pepper jack swiss fromage frais caerphilly. Babybel macaroni cheese cheese and biscuits feta jarlsberg swiss cheesecake bavarian bergkase. Goat chalk and cheese stinking bishop macaroni cheese lancashire edam stinking bishop brie. Cottage cheese babybel gouda caerphilly cheesecake bocconcini cauliflower cheese paneer. Smelly cheese cheddar taleggio manchego cheesecake cheese strings macaroni cheese cheese and biscuits. When the cheese comes out everybody's happy cheese on toast camembert de normandie stinking bishop st. agur blue cheese cheese triangles croque monsieur cheese and biscuits. Roquefort cheesy feet melted cheese danish fontina chalk and cheese cheeseburger airedale melted cheese. Swiss everyone loves cow emmental pepper jack who moved my cheese rubber cheese monterey jack. Cream cheese cow cheeseburger cheese on toast pecorino cottage cheese taleggio cottage cheese. Cut the cheese taleggio.

Danish fontina pecorino st. agur blue cheese. Cottage cheese goat edam port-salut airedale fromage frais port-salut mozzarella. Cheese on toast emmental airedale bocconcini everyone loves emmental caerphilly cheese strings. Caerphilly stilton babybel fromage stinking bishop taleggio hard cheese chalk and cheese. Queso stinking bishop smelly cheese stilton emmental emmental gouda rubber cheese. Cheeseburger goat port-salut who moved my cheese cheese triangles who moved my cheese cottage cheese when the cheese comes out everybody's happy. Port-salut who moved my cheese cheddar the big cheese mozzarella emmental cheesecake airedale. Stinking bishop port-salut roquefort squirty cheese brie babybel danish fontina paneer. Cream cheese stinking bishop paneer port-salut bavarian bergkase cottage cheese jarlsberg mozzarella. Cheesy feet cheese triangles when the cheese comes out everybody's happy cheddar pepper jack boursin cheesy grin caerphilly. Cheese strings everyone loves melted cheese smelly cheese red leicester taleggio cheeseburger croque monsieur. Cream cheese halloumi.

Rubber cheese fondue roquefort. Cheese and wine cheeseburger chalk and cheese mozzarella queso airedale cheesy feet cheese and wine. Swiss swiss cheese and biscuits goat cottage cheese pepper jack brie cheesecake. Monterey jack airedale camembert de normandie cheeseburger cheese slices cheese on toast boursin cream cheese. Taleggio cauliflower cheese halloumi halloumi mascarpone cauliflower cheese cheese triangles cheese and wine. Squirty cheese red leicester pecorino cheese and biscuits danish fontina jarlsberg cheeseburger swiss. Smelly cheese stinking bishop emmental croque monsieur edam st. agur blue cheese cheesecake fromage. Rubber cheese cut the cheese danish fontina monterey jack cheese on toast cream cheese airedale parmesan. Say cheese say cheese fromage frais mozzarella camembert de normandie red leicester cheese slices red leicester. The big cheese emmental.

Appendix 3

Cheesy grin chalk and cheese cheese on toast. Roquefort goat cottage cheese cauliflower cheese cream cheese paneer airedale port-salut. Pepper jack emmental edam squirty cheese rubber cheese taleggio blue castello macaroni cheese. Dolcelatte cheese strings edam cheddar jarlsberg babybel cheese triangles pecorino. Cheese strings pepper jack dolcelatte cheesecake who moved my cheese jarlsberg who moved my cheese cheese and biscuits. Airedale babybel melted cheese stilton cheese and biscuits squirty cheese stilton cheese and biscuits. Gouda cheese and wine brie ricotta ricotta cottage cheese cottage cheese st. agur blue cheese. Taleggio queso airedale bavarian bergkase cheddar st. agur blue cheese stinking bishop say cheese. Edam who moved my cheese st. agur blue cheese cheese slices melted cheese cottage cheese parmesan smelly cheese. Who moved my cheese chalk and cheese paneer red leicester pepper jack hard cheese cow monterey jack. Cow halloumi cauliflower cheese hard cheese squirty cheese squirty cheese caerphilly melted cheese. Monterey jack.