Through situational dialogues and fiction situational dialogues

FUNNY SITUATIONS IN DIALOGUES

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- Do you have a family?

- Yes, I have one son.

- Oh, really? Does he smoke?

- No, he’s never touched a cigarette.

- That’s good. I don’t smoke either. Tobacco is very bad for one’s health.

And does your son drink wine?

- Oh, no, he has never drunk a drop of it.

- Then I congratulate you, madam. And does he ever come home at night?

- No, never. He goes to bed immediately after dinner every night.

- Well. He’s a wise young man. How old is he?

- He is six months old today.

***

Mrs Alda: Look at those people, George! I’m sure I’ve seen their

pictures somewhere.

Mr Alda to the waiter: Who are those people? Do you know them?

Waiter: Oh they’re nobody famous.

Mrs Alda: Really? How do you know that?

Waiter: Because they asked me who you were.
***

Old man: My goodness! Do you see that person with the loose pants

and long hair? Is it a boy or a girl?

Neighbour: A girl. She is my daughter.

Old man: Oh! Please forgive me, I didn’t know that you were

her mother.

Neighbour: I’m not. I’m her father.
***

Mr Janes: Good morning, doctor. Did you go to Middletown High school?

Doctor: Yes I did.

Mr Janes: Were there from 1980 to 1985?

Doctor: Yes I was. How did you know?

Mr Janes: You were in my class

Doctor: Oh? What were you teaching?

***

Coach: Please, let the student stay in school. He is the best of all

football players.

Dean: This one is Susan’s paper. She’s the best student in the class.

And this one is your football player’s. They’re exactly the same.

The football player sat at the next desk and just copied from her.

Coach: But may be she copied from him. You can’t prove it was the

other way.

Dean: Look at this. Susan didn’t know the answer to the question,

so she wrote, “Neither do I”

***

Teacher of Mathematics : If I cut a piece of meat into two pieces,

what would I get?

Kate: Halves

Teacher of Mathematics: Good. And if I cut each piece in half again?

Bill: Fourths.

Teacher of Mathematics: And if I cut it again, Robert?

Robert: Eigths.

Teacher of Mathematics: Yes, and again?

Susan: Sixteenth, sir.

Teacher of Mathematics: Good. And ones more, Liza.

Liza: Thirty seconds.

Teacher of Mathematics: Yes, that’s right. And again?

The last student: Hamburger meat.