The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: TEST THE PROMISE OF
REWARD
Test the promise of reward with a temptation that you regularly indulge in because your brain
tells you it will make you happy. The most common choices in my class are snack foods,
shopping, television, and online time-wasters from e-mail to poker. Mindfully indulge, but don’t
rush through the experience. Notice what the promise of reward feels like: the anticipation, the
hope, the excitement, the anxiety, the salivation—whatever is going on in your brain and body.
Then give yourself permission to give in. How does the experience compare with the
expectation? Does the feeling of the promise of reward ever go away—or does it continue to
drive you to eat more, spend more, or stay longer? When, if ever, do you become satisfied? Or
do you simply reach the point of being unable to continue, because you’re stuffed, exhausted,
frustrated, out of time, or out of the “reward”?
People who try this exercise commonly have one of two results. Some people find that when
they really pay attention to the experience of indulging, they need far less than they thought they
would to feel satisfied. Others find that the experience is completely unsatisfying, revealing a
huge gap between the promise of reward and the reality of their experience. Both observations
can give you greater control over what has felt like an out-of-control behavior.

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THE IMPORTANCE OF DESIRE
Before you ask your doctor for dopamine-suppressing drugs, it’s worth contemplating the upside of
the promise of reward. While we get into trouble when we mistake wanting for happiness, the
solution is not to eliminate wanting. A life without wants may not require as much self-control—but
it’s also not a life worth living.

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