The skills you need guide to interpersonal skills

Journalists 
often hear confidential information in the course 
of their work. They may, for example, be asked not to disclose 
their sources, or to hold certain information for a period to avoid 
prejudicing a court case.
Over and above the legal requirements, many professionals are expected to abide 
by guidance from their professional body on confidentiality, and the professional 
body has its own ways of enforcing compliance. For example, the UK’s General 
Medical Council issues guidance on good practice on handling sensitive patient 
information, and all doctors in the UK are expected to follow this. Failure to do so 
would result in censure at the very least, and might be severe enough to result in a 
loss of the doctor’s licence to practise in the UK.

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ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SKILLS
GOSSIP
No discussion on confidentiality could be considered complete 
without touching on gossip.
Gossip is defined as idle talk or scandal. It is, therefore, unsubstantiated 
information that is spread by way of conversations and discussions. It may 
seem like a bit of idle chit-chat with friends, but spreading incorrect or untrue 
allegations about others can damage reputations beyond repair, and have 
long-term effects on people’s lives.
Even just asking the question ‘Do you think it’s true that so-and-so did 
such-and-such?’ can have the effect of spreading the information further.
You may now be wondering about the situation where you know that something 
is true, for example, because one of those involved has told you about it.
Passing on information that you have heard from a third party is bad enough. 
Sharing information that you have been told in confidence, by the person 
concerned, is much worse.
If they told you in confidence, it means they trust you not to tell anyone else. 
So don’t. You can be sure that the news will get back to the person who 
trusted you, and they will be both angry and hurt. Your relationship with 
them is unlikely to recover.
Of course, if they asked you to share their side of the story with other people, 
then that is different. However, under those circumstances, you should be wary 
about the potential to be spreading false information about other people who 
may be involved in some way. You may trust your friend, but people can, quite 
legitimately, have very different views of the same events.
THE BOTTOM LINE: AVOID TALKING ABOUT 
ANYONE WHO IS NOT PRESENT
If you are not certain about the facts, or would not be completely happy 
saying it to their face, then it is best not to say it when they are not there.

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A GUIDING PRINCIPLE FOR CONFIDENTIALITY: 
DO AS YOU WOULD BE DONE BY
Perhaps the best policy to ensure that you are handling information sensitively, 
and respecting people’s confidentiality is to consider how you would feel if it were 
your personal information, and what you would want done with it. Of course, if 
someone has explained how they would like the information handled, that is simple. 
Otherwise, ‘Do as you would be done by’ is a simple rule, but extremely powerful.
SUMMARY
Being polite and employing tact and diplomacy is important to interpersonal relationships. 
Although being polite can sometimes mean not telling the whole truth, or even deceiving 
someone, it does not always mean being dishonest or deceitful. In most interpersonal 
relationships, being polite is desirable and an honest reflection of your awareness and 
respect for others. Keeping confidential information to yourself is also an important 
element of tact and diplomacy, as well as sometimes necessary by law.

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Assertiveness is a skill regularly referred to in social and 
communication skills training. Being assertive means 
being able to stand up for your own or other people’s 
rights in a calm and positive way, without being either 
aggressive, or passively accepting ‘wrong’.
Assertive individuals are able to get their point 
across without upsetting others, or becoming upset 
themselves. Everyone acts in passive and aggressive 
ways from time to time, but these ways of responding 
often result from a lack of self-confidence and are, 
therefore, inappropriate ways of interacting with others.
This chapter examines the rights and responsibilities 
of assertive behaviour and aims to show how 
assertiveness can benefit you.