The graph below shows the average number of uk commuters traveling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters traveling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.
Critic Analysis
The line graph compares how many people use three different forms of transport to work on a daily basis in the UK over a span of 6 decades, from 1970 to 2030.
Overall, the number of car users increases in popularity while the bus is the only which its figure decreases. Furthermore, the trends for the car and train shows a weak positive correlation throughout the whole period given.
In 1970, the number of people driving to work was the highest, with about 5 million, and it was around 4 million for railway passengers. Meanwhile, the number of commuters using bus stood at about 2 million. By 2000, the number of car and train users had witnessed a weak positive correlation; the figures for both the former and the latter had increased from about 5 and 2 million to around 7 and 3 million in turn. By contrast, the number of bus users decreased from around 4 million to roughly 3.5 million.
By 2030, the numbers of car and train are predicted to show another weak positive correlation (from 3 and 7 to 5 and 9 million respectively). However, it is estimated that the trend for the bus will be different, The number of people using bus to work will falling from 3.5 to just under 3 million.

(27 mins, 214 words)
Comment
I prefer this report to the previous ones. It is clear how you prepared for it, well-done! But analyze the model answer once more. There are some areas that you should work on:

1. 
   Mechanical writing  a major contributing factor that holding you back from getting 7.5+
   
2. 
   Specific language  a huge factor also
   
3. 
   Complex sentences  practice this a lot
   
4. 
   Cut down on the planning time  makes you frusturated!
   
5. 
   Word count  be deliberate about it!
   
6. 
   Redundancy  makes you learn collocations
   
7. 
   You are addicted to use figure/trend or approx./roughly/… structures, after that try not use any of them!  Challenge! (learn to express via other ways)
   
8. 
   Paraphrasing  when you’re lack of word, it can absolutely help