The Girl with Seven Names: a north Korean Defector’s Story

Now he is suspicious. Perhaps he thinks the passport is a fake. I put all
my documents on the counter. That seemed to help. By now, I had been
there for ten minutes as he examined each, and I was holding up the line. I
was afraid, but stuck. After what seemed like an age, he stamped my
passport, looked up at me, and stamped it again. I took my documents and
walked towards the gate.
I had a one-hour wait before boarding. Although it was mild in Shanghai,
I was wearing a padded coat in readiness for sub-zero Korea. I was
sweating with apprehension. Any moment now, I thought, that officer at the
desk would realize this was a ruse. Police would appear to seize me and
take me away. I kept glancing around nervously. As soon as boarding
started, I rushed to the front. I took my seat on the plane and kept an eye on
the door for the police. Finally, it was closed and the airplane taxied for
takeoff. The stress flowed out of me like air from a tyre. My head sank back
against the seat.
But within minutes I had started worrying about what would happen at
Incheon. I did not have the documents to pass. For years I had been a
fugitive in hiding. This would be the moment when I gave myself up. I felt a
wave of terror.
After just an hour, the pilot announced the beginning of the descent.
Minutes later we were flying over Seoul and Incheon. My heart was racing.
I was excited, and very frightened.
Suddenly the clouds parted and I had a steep-angle view of a city that
stretched to the horizon in every direction I could see. It looked like some
endless geological formation, vast colonies of sand-coloured stalagmites
with tiny cars moving between them.
The border between North and South Korea is narrow, and the distance
from Pyongyang to Seoul is barely 120 miles. Yet the two countries are as
far away from each other as any in the world. I thought of my mother and
Min-ho. I had called them on New Year’s Day. Min-ho gave me the
upsetting news that our mother was in the hospital. She had severely
scalded herself at home. This added to the confusion of guilt and loss I was
feeling.
A hydraulic whine, and the wheels were being lowered for landing.
Would I ever see her again?

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