The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted

Temptation: skip your daily visit to the gym.
“I don’t” response: “I don’t skip visits to the gym.”
Temptation: make a frivolous, expensive purchase.
“I don’t” response: “I don’t spend money frivolously.”
Temptation: gossip about a coworker.
“I don’t” response: “I don’t gossip.”
Temptation: binge-watch Netflix when you should be
working.
“I don’t” response: “I don’t dawdle when there’s work to
be done.”
When you give in to temptations, you become a slave to
your impulses. The resulting short-term gratification often
comes at the expense of long-term fulfillment.

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When you resist temptations with declarative
statements that begin with “I don’t…” you become the
architect of a life built upon healthy intentions.

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FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE ART
OF SAYING NO
I
t’s important to remember the effects of saying yes. When
you consent to other people’s requests and put their
priorities ahead of your own, you give up control of precious
resources - most notably your time. Once these resources
are squandered, they cannot be reclaimed.
We tend to presume that most requests will only require
a small commitment from us. But too often, that’s untrue. A
request that’s promised to take “a couple of minutes” ends
up taking half an hour. A favor that’s promised to take an
hour ends up consuming half the day.
Moreover, the cumulative demand of numerous small
requests can be substantial. Saying yes to multiple people
can easily swallow your most productive hours.
Throughout The Art Of Saying NO, I’ve shown you how
to turn down requests, invitations, favors, and anything else
that invades your boundaries without feeling guilty. The
strategies we’ve covered will also mitigate the requestor’s
disappointment at hearing the word “no.”
But that doesn’t mean saying no will be easy - at least,
not in the beginning. Doing so with confidence is like using a
muscle. You need to use a muscle to make it stronger.
So, I encourage you to put the strategies in The Art Of
Saying NO to immediate use. Start small with low-risk
situations - for example, telling your server at a restaurant

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that “No. I don’t want dessert. Thanks.” Then gradually use
the strategies in higher-risk situations.
With time and application, you’ll find yourself becoming
more assertive. Saying no will become easier as you learn to
rely on your convictions. As a bonus, you’ll find that your
friends, family members, coworkers, and neighbors will
become more respectful of your time and decisions.

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