Scatter Brained

STOCK CAR RACING
The Record:
 200 NASCAR victories
The Record Holder:
 Richard Petty, retired 1989
C H A P T E R   5

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128
S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
It’s Unbreakable Because:
  No  one’s  ever  even  gotten  half-
way there. Th
  ese days, if one driver started dominating the 
way Petty did, the National Association for Stock Car Auto 
Racing would just change the rules and make him drive with 
a hand tied behind his back. (No one’s ever done 
that,
 but re-
tired NASCAR driver Dick Trickle, whose name we really en-
joy getting into print, did reportedly smoke cigarettes during 
his races.)
GOLF
The Record:
 11 straight PGA Tour victories
The Record Holder:
 Byron Nelson, 1945
It’s Unbreakable Because:
 Very few professional golfers 
even 
play
 11 straight events anymore, let alone win them. It 
was an astounding achievement when Tiger Woods won six 
consecutive PGA Tour tournaments, but he barely got half-
way to Nelson’s record.
FOOTBALL
The Record:
 a margin of victory of 222–0
The Record Holder:
 Georgia Tech had the 222, Cumberland 
the 0.
It’s Unbreakable Because:
 To improve on Georgia Tech’s 
1916 record, a team would have to score a touchdown ap-
proximately every 1 minute and 52 seconds.
BASKETBALL
The Record:
 Scoring 100 points in a single game/sleeping 
with 20,000 women

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129
The Record Holder:
 Wilt Chamberlain (scored 100 points on 
March 2, 1962)
It’s Unbreakable Because:
 Wilt was one of the few seven-
footers in the National Basketball Association during his 
career, and the rules favored him (the shooting lane was 
later narrowed to stop Wilt from dominating). Even so, we’ll 
allow for the possibility somebody might one day score more 
than  100  points  in  an  NBA  game—but  no  way  will  that 
somebody have slept with 20,000 women, as Wilt claims to 
have done.
BADMINTON
The Record:
 winning 504 consecutive badminton games
The Record Holder:
  Miller  Place  (N.Y.)  High  School  Pan-
thers
It’s Unbreakable Because:
 Well, for starters, very few high 
schools will 
ever
 win, or for that matter participate in, 504 
games of badminton. Also, the Panthers went 32 years with-
out a loss. No matter what sport you play, that’s impressive.