Reclaim Your Heart: Personal insights on breaking free from life's shackles

you rule the portions, the choices and the scene."
But advertisers aren’t the only ones who appeal to our ego. There is a
global phenomenon that provides a breeding ground and platform for that
ego. And it’s called Facebook. Now, I’ll be the first to assert that Facebook
can be a powerful tool for good. It is, like many other things, what you
make of it. A knife can be used to cut food which feeds the hungry, or it can
be used to kill someone. Facebook can be used for great good—after all it
was Facebook that helped facilitate the toppling of a dictator. Facebook can
be used as a powerful tool to organize, call, remind, and unite. Facebook
can also be used to strengthen our connection to God and to each other…Or
Facebook can be used to strengthen the hold of our nafs (lower self or ego).
The Facebook phenomenon is an interesting one. In each and every one
of us is an ego. It is the part of ourselves that must be suppressed (if we are
to avoid Anakin’s fate of turning to the dark side, that is). The danger of
feeding the ego is that, as the ego is fed, it becomes strong. When it
becomes strong, it begins to rule us. Soon we are no longer slaves to God;
we become slaves to ourselves.
The ego is the part of us that loves power. It is the part that loves to be
seen, recognized, praised, and adored. Facebook provides a powerful
platform for this. It provides a platform by which every word, picture, or
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thought I have can be seen, praised, and ‘liked’. As a result, I begin to seek
this. But then it doesn’t just stay in the cyber world. I begin even to live my
life with this visibility in mind. Suddenly, I live every experience, every
photo, every thought, as if it’s being watched, because in the back of my
mind I’m thinking, "I’ll put it on Facebook". This creates a very interesting
state of being, almost a constant sense that I am living my life on display. I
become ever conscious of being watched, because everything can be put up
on Facebook for others to see and comment on.
More importantly, it creates a false sense of self-importance, where
every insignificant move I make is of international importance. Soon I
become the focus, the one on display. The message is: I am so important.
My life is so important. Every move I make is so important. The result
becomes an even stronger me-focused world, where I am at the center.
As it turns out, this result is diametrically opposed to the Reality of
existence. The goal of this life is to realize the Truth of God’s greatness and
my own insignificance and need before Him. The goal is to take myself out
of the center and put Him there instead. But Facebook perpetuates the
illusion of the exact opposite. It strengthens my belief that because of my
own importance, every inconsequential move or thought should be on
display. Suddenly what I ate for breakfast or bought at the grocery store is
news, important enough to publish. When I put up a picture, I wait for
compliments; I wait for acknowledgement and recognition. With the
number of likes or comments, physical beauty becomes something that can
now be quantified. When I put up a post, I wait for it to be ‘liked’. And I am
ever conscience of—and even compete in—the number of "friends" I have.
(Friends, here, is in quotation marks because no one knows 80% of their
"friends" on Facebook.)
This preoccupation and rivalry to acquire more, is mentioned in the
Qur’an. God says:
"The mutual rivalry for piling up (of worldly things) has preoccupied
you." (Qur’an, 102:1)
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Whether that rivalry is in piling up wealth, or friends and ‘likes’ on
Facebook, the result is the same: We have become preoccupied by it.
Facebook also strengthens another dangerous focus: the focus on other
people, what they’re doing, what they like. What they think of me. Facebook
feeds the preoccupation with others’ assessment of me. Soon, I enter the
orbit of the creation. Inside that orbit, my definitions, my pain, my
happiness, my self-worth, my success and my failure is determined by the
creation. When I live in that orbit, I rise and fall with the creation. When the
people are happy with me, I’m up. When they’re not, I fall. Where I stand is
defined by people. I’m like a prisoner because I have given up the keys to
my happiness, sadness, fulfillment, and disappointment to the people to
hold.
Once I enter and live in the orbit of the creation—rather than the orbit
of God—I begin to use that currency. See, the currency of God’s orbit is:
His pleasure or His displeasure, His reward or His punishment. But, the
currency of the orbit of creation is: the praise and criticism of people. So, as
I enter deeper and deeper into that orbit, I covet more and more of its
currency, and I fear more and more of its loss. While I’m playing
Monopoly, for example, I covet more and more of its currency. And it feels
great to be ‘rich’ for a moment. But when the game is over, what can I buy
in the Real world with Monopoly money?
The human currency of praise is Monopoly money. It feels great for a
moment to collect, but when the game is over, it’s worthless. In the Reality
of this life and the next, it’s worthless. And yet, I even covet this false
currency in my worship. In this way, I fall victim to the hidden shirk: Riyaa
(showing off in worship). Riyaa is a consequence of living in the orbit of
the creation. The deeper and deeper I enter into that orbit, the more I
become consumed with gaining human praise, approval and recognition.
The more I enter that orbit, the more I fear loss—loss of face, loss of status,
loss of praise, loss of approval.
Yet the more I fear the people, the more I become enslaved. True
freedom only comes when I let go of the fear of anything and anyone other
than God.
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In a profound hadith (Prophetic teaching), a man came to the Prophet 
and said: "O Messenger of God, direct me to an act, which if I do, God
will love me and people will love me." He 
said: "Detach yourself from
the world, and God will love you. Detach yourself from what is with the
people, and the people will love you." [Ibn Majah]
Ironically, the less we chase after the approval and love of the people,
the more we gain it. The less needy we are of others, the more people are
drawn to us and seek our company. This hadith teaches us a profound Truth.
Only by breaking out of the orbit of the creation, can we succeed with both
God and people.
So while Facebook is indeed a powerful tool, let it be a tool of your
freedom—not a tool of your servitude to yourself and the assessment of
others.
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He was devastated. His only source of nourishment had disappeared. It
was all he knew, and then it was gone. Suddenly, the world grew cold, and
only strangers surrounded him. The newborn child screamed. He thought
his life was over.
What the child did not realize was that there was someone taking care of
him. There was a plan for him. And in place of everything that had been
taken away, his Protector would provide something better. The nourishment
he had once received only through blood would soon come through his
mother’s milk. And the lifeless walls of the womb—once thought to be his
only protection—would soon be replaced by the comfort of his family’s
arms.
And yet, to the newborn child, it seemed he had lost everything.
Many of us find ourselves like this child. There are times when we feel
we have lost everything, or things look broken and nothing like how we
wished they would be. At times we even feel as though we’ve been
abandoned and nothing is working out the way we planned.
But just like that newborn child, things are often not what they seem,
and tawakkul (trusting and relying on Allah) is realizing that our Protector
has a plan for us. Tawakkul is having complete trust that Allah’s plan is the
best plan. Tawakkul is having full faith that Allah will take care of you—
even when things look impossible. Tawakkul is standing in front of the Red
Sea—as Prophet Musa did—with an army behind you, and not even
flinching, knowing that Allah will get you through. It is having full faith
that when Allah takes away the umbilical cord, He will replace it with milk.
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There can be no faith without tawakkul; and if there is true faith,