Reclaim Your Heart: Personal insights on breaking free from life's shackles

He knows every leaf that falls from a tree. Let the knowledge that He knows
every tear that falls from your eyes, quiet your screaming heart.
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It’s hard to explain the freedom. It’s so deep and so real. Looking
through the confusion, the empty boxes and hollow images, I saw you—
Dunya. You place veil after veil over my eyes. Trying to win me, deceive
me, enslave me to your lies.
When the truth is you couldn’t give me even a drop of water when I
stood at your door begging. I was on my knees before you, desperate for
you to fill me.
What I see now is a glimpse of clarity that only the stab of perpetual
disappointment could carve. And I sit here surrounded by your henchmen,
your army of liars sent to keep me in chains. But I won’t be your prisoner
anymore. I will no longer be that little girl lying awake at night thinking of
you. I am no longer that heartbroken child wasting her tears on you. My
unrequited love can no longer break me. You won’t break me. I won’t bend
to your glitter and false promises. I am no longer that faithful subject
standing before your false throne. My tears are no longer yours to have.
And my heart is no longer your sanctuary.
You can’t live here anymore.
I’ve traveled a long way to come here. Sometimes there were deserts
where all I needed was a single drop of water that you couldn’t give.
Sometimes storms, where all I needed was a flicker of light to guide my
path. And I asked you again and again for what you could not give. For all
you have is pomp, boasting and chattel of deception. And so I found myself
again and again in deserts without water, in darkness without light. But I am
no longer your slave, for there was a man who came to liberate me from
this. A man who came to liberate me from this slavery to the slave, and
bring me to the slavery of the Lord of the slave.
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196

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I lifted my head
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Once more
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Only to see
The sun had set,
The trees had slept,
And they’d all gone home
I grieve.
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The sky that was clear
is now covered with fog.
My path, I no longer see.
Why try…when it’s all so gray?
I grieve.
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Today I grieve
For what’s been lost.
My forgotten people,
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still on their knees
before a snow god in spring
I grieve.
They’ve forgotten that prayer
And to whom they should call.
202

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The Essence replaced
by mundane ritual,
empty symbols.
Their hearts… so tired,
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jaded and worn
I grieve.
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We are a people
defeated…but not conquered.
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And somehow
I feel my blood return.
I will stand.
I will try.
And from beyond my grief,
I will see…
There are a people you can’t enslave.
A loyalty…you can’t buy.
For a land may be occupied…
but never a soul.
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From beyond my tears
I’ll understand…
Today my people weep.
But tomorrow…Death will die,
as their tears give birth to a land
where…"on them shall be no fear
nor shall they grieve". (Qur’an, 2:262)
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There’s a strange sadness today. It’s not the kind that leaves you empty
or lonely, or even wanting. It’s the still kind, the kind that comes from a
certain level of understanding, even acceptance.
I looked at this photo today, and every time I did, I found tears fill my
eyes. It was a sunset on the beach. Stunning. And above it the ayah: