that you were that way, I never did, but hearing it and thinking about all our
differences made me wonder if maybe the summer meant more to me than it had
meant to you .... And then, while all this was going through my head, I heard from
Sarah. She said that you had left New Bern.”
"Fin and Sarah always knew where I was‐‐"
She held up her hand to stop him. "I know, but I never asked. I assumed that you
had left New Bern to start a new life, one without me. Why else wouldn't you write?
Or call ? Or come see ?
Noah looked away without answering, and she continued:
"I didn't know, and in time, the hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let
it go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I
found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong, I'd write you
another letter. But I never sent them for fear of what I might find. By then, you'd
gone on with your life and I didn't want to think about you loving someone else.
I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn't want to ever lose
that."
She said it so sweetly, so innocently, that Noah wanted to kiss her when she
finished. But he didn't. Instead he fought the urge and pushed it back, knowing it
wasn't what she needed. Yet she felt so wonderful to him, touching him ....
"The last letter I wrote was a couple of years ago. After I met Lon, I wrote to your
daddy to find out where you were. But it had been so long since I'd seen you, I
wasn't even sure he'd still be there. And with the war..."
She trailed off, and they were quiet for a moment, both of them lost in thought.
Lightning lit the sky again before Noah finally broke the silence.
"I wish you would have mailed it anyway."
"Why?"
"Just to hear from you. To hear what you've been up to."
"You might have been disappointed. My life isn't too exciting. Besides, I'm not
exactly what you remembered."
"You're better than I remembered, Allie." "You're sweet, Noah."
He almost stopped there, knowing that if he kept the words inside him, he could
somehow keep control, the same control he had kept the past fourteen years. But
something else had overtaken him now, and he gave in to it, hoping somehow, in
some way, it would take them back to what they'd had so long ago.
"I'm not saying it because I'm sweet. I'm saying it because I love you now and I
always have. More than you can imagine."
A log snapped, sending sparks up the chimney, and both of them noticed the
smoldering remains, almost burned through. The fire needed another log, but
neither of them moved.
Allie took another sip of bourbon and began to feel its effects. But it wasn't just
the alcohol that made her hold Noah a little tighter and feel his warmth against
her. Glancing out the window, she saw the clouds were almost black.
"Let me get the fire going again," Noah said, needing to think, and she released
him. He went to the fireplace, opened the screen, and added a couple of logs. He
used the poker to adjust the burning wood, making sure the new wood could catch
easily. The flame began to spread again, and Noah returned to her side. She
snuggled up against him again, resting her head on his shoulder as she had before,
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