Musashi's Dokkodo (The Way of Walking Alone)

Insurance Executive:
I probably have moments of jealousy but I like to think not many. I’ll
tell someone, “Oh, I’m so jealous you’re going to Hawaii” or “I’m so
jealous you’re going to dine at the fabulous new restaurant,” but in
reality I’m not in the least. I’ve been to Hawaii and I’ve eaten in nice
restaurants so to be jealous of someone for doing what I’ve done
doesn’t really compute in my mind. What I’m really saying to them is
this: “I could use a trip to Hawaii right now,” and “I have to make
plans to eat at that restaurant in the near future.” But jealous?
Envious? No.
In my experience the thing being envied is often distorted in one’s
mind. Let’s say, Alice, an out of shape woman, looks at a fit woman
at the supermarket, and thinks longingly, “If only I had her figure my
world would be so much better.” Then when Alice watches the
coveted woman get into a shiny new Lexus, she thinks, “If only I had
that car in my world my life would be so much better.” If Alice isn’t
careful, she will fall into a trap that has caught so many others: To
envy to such an extreme there can be no personal satisfaction.
Too often our minds exaggerate the value or significance of a
person, place, or thing until it becomes a distortion. Left unchecked,
we can slip into an “I’ve got to have that,” or “I’ve got to be like that
person,” or “I’ve got to take that exotic trip.” Such thinking can
convince us that if we could only have what another person has, life

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will be grander, happier, and—the biggie—people will envy us. Once
acquired, the reality never lives up to the exaggeration-based
jealously that so dominated the mind. This is why we must tread
lightly so as not to covet things and people to the extent they
become amplified into something grandiose, far greater than what
they really are. When this does happen, the amplification can create
a monumental jealousy that consumes every waking moment.
Consider this thought. Might it be that to feel jealous of another
person based on social status, wealth, looks, or skill of some desired
trait, is admitting the other’s superiority? I strive to look at another
person that has achieved much or been blessed with much, and
think to myself, “Good for her.” In fact, I can’t honestly recall any time
in recent memory when I’ve felt even a modicum of jealousy of such
a person. Maybe this is because I constantly strive to improve
myself, to push to new heights of expertise in the things I’m
interested in—work, art, martial arts, and fitness. By thinking in this
fashion, I find joy in competing against myself and achieving goals,
rather than wasting time coveting what someone else has.
I’m not certain, but perhaps it’s been the martial arts that have
helped me not to be jealous of other people. I’ve always seen my
training as a method to not only learn self-defense, but also to learn
about striving, seeking, and pushing myself. Myself. So if I see
another woman that is better at sparring, kicking, or forms, so be it...
I have never driven myself mad being envious of another person’s
achievements in the martial arts or any other endeavor. Again, in my
mind, I want to develop myself in all ways, not waste time being
envious.
I believe I’m unique. I value the gifts I have been given and the many
skills I’ve developed through my own efforts. I feel good about myself
as to the ways I have tried to help others. And I’m very happy with
the love I get from family and friends, and the love I give back. All of
these things endow me with a powerful sense of self-worth.
Life is simply too short and too valuable to spend it feeling insecure,
angry, anxious, and resentful of what others are doing on their life’s

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path.