(You were the scariest teacher at the school, Mom.)
Standing in line, she looked to those near her for some confirmation that this
was ridiculous, standing in a line this long, that something must be wrong. But
people who met her eye looked away with no expression. Olive put her
sunglasses on, blinking. Everywhere she looked, people seemed removed and
unfriendly. As she got closer, she didn’t understand—the line spread into one
mass of people who all seemed to know what she didn’t—where to go, what to
do.
“I need to call my son,” she said to a man standing near her. What she meant
was that she had to leave the line to get to a pay phone because surely if she
called Christopher, he would come get her—she would beg, she would bawl,
anything it took to be saved from this hell. It had just gone terribly wrong, that’s
all. Sometimes things went terribly wrong. But looking around, she could see
there were no pay phones anywhere; everyone had a cell phone stuck to their
ear, talking, talking; they all had someone to talk to.
(His utter calm as he washed those dishes while she wept! Even Ann had had
to leave the room.
Do you have no memory of these things at all? These days,
they’d send a social worker right to the home, if a kid showed up that way.
Why are you torturing me? she had cried. What are you talking about? All
your life I have loved you. And this is what you feel?
He’d stopped washing the dishes. Said just as calmly:
Okay. Now I don’t have
anything left to say.
)
The man she had told she had to call her son looked at her, then looked away.
She couldn’t call her son. He was cruel. And his wife was cruel.
Olive was moved along with the small sea of people: Move along, handbag on
the rollers, move along, have your boarding pass out. A man, not nicely,
motioning for her to step through the security arc. Glancing down, saying
without expression, “Take off your shoes, ma’am. Take off your shoes.”
She pictured standing before him, her shredded panty hose exposed like some
crazy lady. “I will not take off my shoes,” she heard herself say. She said, “I
don’t give a damn if the plane blows up, do you understand? I don’t give one
good goddamn if any of you are blown sky-high.” She saw the security man give
the slightest gesture of his hand, and two people were beside her. They were
men, and in half a second a woman was there, too. Security officials in their
white shirts and special stripes above the pockets.
In voices of great gentleness, they said, “Come this way, ma’am.”
She nodded, blinking behind her sunglasses, and said, “I’d be glad to.”
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