Ielts essay samples band 9

"Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. 
Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. 
Give your opinion." 
Model Answer: 
To succeed in life the need for hard work and determination is undeniable. Of course 
the definition of success there is substantial improvement of one’s professional, 
financial, intellectual, or spiritual status. Often it appears that there had been other 
catalysts for success, like opportunity and guidance. But my belief is that, with enough 
perseverance and diligence all variables in the way of becoming successful may be 
neutralized. 
A person, in education, career or soul searching, faces many hurdles, some barely 
discomforting and others disarming. That is surely beyond argument. Hence there 
should not be disagreements in saying, hurdles are called such because they require us 
to put in more effort than usual. The greater the hurdle is, the more effort we must put 
in. Drawing from this, success and the hard work – determination factor are positively 
related to each other. It is as irrefutable as mathematics. 
A contradictory point of view may project that the formulaic relationship between hard 
work – determination and achievement may be engineered by the opportunity and/or 
guidance one might get. That is reasonably agreeable. But such secondary factors can 
never become the primary. For example, it is commonly said that George W. Bush, the 
Senior, has been far more prolific, than his son is, in his military, bureaucratic, and 
political career, while it is evident that he had to diligently work his way up the ladder, 
from being a soldier to the fabled US White House. Mr. Bush Junior, on the other hand, 
had most of his way to the oval office already paved by the grace of his patron. Then it 
may be said that Bush Sr. worked harder than Bush Jr. did, and we all are spectators of 
their discriminated rapport, as humans and as leaders.
Therefore, I conclude here that, though some secondary factors sometimes may 
influence the dynamics of success, achievement of it solely depends on hard work and 
determination. 

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10.You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. 
Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the 
following topic: