8. Reading Updike
– Knock, knock!
– Who’s there?
– It’s the man you like to hate.
– All right, my hateful man, come in. What’s up?
– Not much. What are you doing? Reading? Are you all right?
– Yes, I’m reading. It’s Updike…
– Updike? John Hoyer Updike?
Son of Linda Grace (Hoyer) Updike and Wesley Russell Updike?
Born
in Reading, Pennsylvania, in nineteen thirty-two?
Graduated from Harvard College in nineteen fifty-four?
The famous novelist, essayist, critic and overall refined intellectual? The cult author?
The Updike!?
–
Oh, stop it! You think that if I liked “Cut, Gut and Lots of Blood”,
I
can’t read Updike?
I can and I do! And, I enjoy doing it very much! There!
9. Hamlet
– Hamlet. A poem by my son Johnny!
– To be or not to be?
The silly, silly bee!
To see or not to see?
Or swim into the sea?
To eat or not to eat
That juicy chunk of meat?
I’m Hamlet, Prince of Danes!
I’m suffering from pains!
To talk or not to talk?
Or go for a walk?
Or hide under the bed?
The voices in my head…
I rhyme and then I scream!
Or is it but a dream?
I’m Hamlet, Prince I am!
I’m finished. Thank you, m’am…
– Oh, that’s beautiful! You
are a genius, Johnny! Simply a genius!
10. Johnny The Fireman
– What is this, Johnny?
– It’s a book of matches and a can of gas, mom.
– I can see that it is a book of matches and a can of gasoline, Johnny.
But why? What are you doing with them?
– I wanna be a fireman. I like setting things on fire. I like fire. It’s very bright and nice and…
– Now, Johnny, you’re upsetting your mother.
We both know that you
will become a famous poet, an author! And don’t say “wanna”;
it’s bad English!
– Okay, mom. But, can I be both a famous poet and a fireman and set things on fire?
Please? Please? Please?
– No, you cannot, Johnny!
– But, mom…
– You’re upsetting your mother, John. Th
is
discussion is over!
Go to your room and study Shakespeare! And take that finger out of your nose!
– Okay, mom…
11. Time To…
For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And
a time to die;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And
a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones together;
A time to seek,
And
a time to lose;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time for war,
And
a time for peace;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones together…