B o u t L o V e? Reminders for Being Loving

 Anatomy of Desire

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Being Loving 
49 
Take Time to Respond from a Deeper Place 
The first and automatic response to anything, such as a 
request from someone or even an opportunity, is likely 
to come from the ego. We are programmed to respond 
automatically, and this programming is released into the 
mind as a thought, opinion, belief, point of view, 
attitude, or emotional reaction. Often the response is 
similar to how we have responded many times before, 
and it usually has some psychological, emotional, or even 
astrological basis.
Notice how quickly you come up with a response to 
something or someone, such as someone asking you to 
do something. If a response isn't quick, it's usually 
because of conflicting programming: Two different 
programmed responses are in conflict, in which case, the 
immediate reaction might be confusion, frustration, or 
anger.
If you identify with the first response, that is, if you 
take the voice in your head (the ego’s voice) as 
your
voice, 
your
opinion, or 
your
reaction, chances are that response 
won't be very charitable or wise because the ego isn't 

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W
HAT 
A
BOUT 
L
OVE
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50 
either of these. When you give voice to the ego, you 
won't feel very good about yourself because the ego's 
responses tend to be self-centered, unkind, and narrow-
minded, which is how we feel when we are identified 
with the ego.
When that happens, you might try to feel better 
about yourself through various strategies. You might try 
to build a case to justify your responses, and judgments 
are often part of that. Since judging never feels good, the 
ego may try to feel better by seeking pleasure or in other 
ways trying to improve its self-image or situation, all 
because you bought into your initial, automatic reaction.
Once you realize that your initial reaction is most 
likely from the ego, you can just wait a moment for some 
other reaction to arise from deeper within you, from 
Essence. If Essence is given a chance, it will act and 
speak through you. But if you act and speak 
automatically from the ego, you won't discover how 
Essence might have responded.
You can tell when Essence is speaking and acting 
through you because instead of being tense, confused, or 
unkind, you feel at peace, open, accepting, and loving. 
Your response to a request, for instance, may still be no, 
but you will deliver that "no" in a way that the person 
won't feel hurt or offended. 

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토
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Being Loving 
51 
As we mature, we usually do learn to be kinder 
because acting out of the ego gets us into trouble. Egos 
aren't very nice, and most of us learn to be nice by 
holding back our initial reactions. Doing that is certainly 
better than giving voice to an unkind ego, but that can 
leave us with negative feelings if we still believe our ego's 
viewpoint. The way out of these feelings is to recognize 
that those thoughts are the ego's and not your true voice. 
Don't agree with the egoic mind, stay apart from it, and 
just notice it. Then you can discover your true voice.
You don't have to 
try
to be nice; you only have to 
realize that what isn't nice about you (and everyone else) 
is the ego, and not who you really are. Step back and give 
some space and time to your initial thoughts and 
reactions, and you will discover Essence, which has the 
wisdom and love to bring peace and harmony to any 
situation. 
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