The relationship may not be right for you if you find
yourself jumping through hoops. When something is
right, it will feel easier and much more effortless.
Just remember, it isn’t about a man. This is your life . . . and it’s
too precious to waste. Do things when it is convenient, especially if
it regards your relationships of choice and who you let in on the
“inside.” It will yield a much better return on investment . . .
especially in the dignity department.
6
NAGGING
No
MORE
What to Do When He Takes You for
Granted and Nagging Doesn’t Work
“Well done is better than
well said.”
—B
EN
F
RANKLIN
A Lover or a Mother?
It’s a scenario that is all too familiar: a nice girl on “over-drive”
trying to please her man. He comes home from work and she tries
to have a conversation. He tunes her out saying, “I’m tired.” She
makes dinner, but he eats in front of the TV so he can watch
Monday Night Football.
She tries to look pretty; he doesn’t
notice. But watch what happens when he realizes the swimsuit issue
got delivered; he almost hyper-ventilates. Diagnosis? She feels
taken for granted.
Like the bum on the street with a sign that says
Will work for
food,
your sign now reads
Will work for attention.
Well, no more
“slummin,’” girlfriend. We are under new management. Under the
old management, you dealt with his lack of attention by nagging.
And if you’ll notice, it hasn’t worked. This is why all of the steps
discussed in this chapter involve changes in demeanor. When you
nag at a man, he becomes more reclusive.
Essentially, you always want to remember that although he is a
grown man, inside there is a three-year-old causing him to have
Appreciation Deficit Disorder. Whenever you nag, you activate this
toddler, and you have a thirty second window before you’ve
activated the “little boy gland.”
It’s as easy as changing a radio station. In thirty seconds, he’ll
tune you out and won’t tune you back in until the nagging is over. It
doesn’t matter if his pants are on fire and smoke has filled the room.
He won’t hear a word you say. This is why you should
communicate with your actions . . . rather than your words. Since a
man won’t discuss feelings as a woman does, anything past the
second repetition seems like nagging. Never ask a man to do
something more than twice or he’ll feel as though he’s being scolded
by Mom. And whenever you nag, he’ll behave like a stubborn
teenager and rebel.
ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #52
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