Ielts-7-Writing

CONCLUSION/SUMMARY
9. I have discussed the reasons why the world’s populations are
becoming more urbanized and some advantages and disadvantages.
10. To close, it should be mentioned that this is a worldwide
phenomenon with many consequences (repercussions). (33 words)
(Total words: 249)

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6.8 WORKING WOMEN
More and more women are working outside their homes. Should the
government focus on the education of children or not? Discuss your
opinion.
Note:
The words in parentheses are more advanced alternatives. The
numbers refer to the standard essay pattern given in 
chapter 4
.
INTRODUCTION
1. Confucius said, “Women should stay at home, tend to their babies,
and forget about working.”
2. This essay will deal with the issue in terms of the importance of the
family, problems when mothers do not educate their children, and one
possible solution. (42 words)
BODY
3. I believe that the family is the hub (nucleus) of a society and that
mothers should be the (primary) educators of children.
4. Because mothers carry and give birth to the children, the relationship
between a mother and her child cannot be duplicated by any other
means. Research (clinical studies) done with baby monkeys has
provided valuable information about the psychological effects foster
mothers have on siblings.
5. Attempts to place the education of children in the hands of foster
parents, the broader society, or the state have failed dismally in the
past.
6. For example, during the formation of the state of Israel, a communal
system was adopted on the “kibbutzim.” Appointed educators raised
the children while the mothers worked on the commune. These
children soon developed serious (psychological and emotional)
problems in society, and the system was changed.
7. One way of finding a “win-win” solution would be to have fewer
schooling hours and to allow mothers of young children to work half

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days only.
8. This would not trouble (hinder) the schooling process, and children
would be able to spend quality time with their mothers in the
afternoons and evenings. (180 words)