Mother Teresa: a biography

DAPHNE RAE AND 
LOVE UNTIL IT HURTS
Following Mother Teresa’s winning of the Nobel Prize, activity at the
Motherhouse at 54A Lower Circular Road picked up considerably. Offers
and donations poured in from all over the world, as many companies and
individuals offered to help the Missionaries of Charity. From Bata Shoe
Company came leather for leprosy patients to make shoes. Help the Aged,
a nonprofit organization based in England, donated money for meals. An
international organization, the Rotary Club, also pledged money and help
for Mother Teresa. Also aiding Mother Teresa in her work were many
wealthy individuals who gave both time and money for the poor.
One of these volunteers was Daphne Rae, who came to Calcutta to
work in the slums. Rae was the wife of the headmaster of Westminster,
one of the best schools in England. Rae, originally from Sri Lanka, con-
verted to Catholicism in 1977 and came to Calcutta in 1979, leaving her
husband and six children to work with Mother Teresa. Altogether, she
traveled to the city three times in order to work with the Missionaries of
Charity. She brought with her large donations of medical supplies and
medicines and spent much of her time at Nirmal Hriday and the chil-
dren’s home. But, suddenly, Rae stopped working with Mother Teresa, and
instead devoted her energy to working with lesser-known organizations
also dedicated to helping India’s poor.
Although she never publicly stated why she no longer worked with the
Missionaries of Charity, Rae’s 1981 book, 
Love until It Hurts: Mother
B L E S S I N G S A N D B L A M E
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Teresa and Her Missionaries of Charity, 
offers some clues about her change
of heart. Rae, who had previously worked with the terminally ill and
dying, was no stranger to places such as Nirmal Hriday. However, she was
distressed that while helping Mother Teresa, she saw disposable hypoder-
mic needles used over and over again; in some cases as many as 40 or 50
times.
Rae, who was also a passionate opponent of abortion, was bothered by
the approach the nuns took toward single, pregnant mothers at the
Shishu Bhavan. For a young, unmarried Hindu girl to become pregnant
was a scandal, and for many, abortion was often seen as the only solution.
For those unwilling to terminate their pregnancy, there was the possibil-
ity of sanctuary at the Shishu Bhavan. Often these girls were taken in by
the nuns with the understanding that they would receive a place to sleep,
medical care, and help in placing the infant up for adoption in return for
helping with domestic chores. According to Rae, these arrangements in
fact often resulted in the girls being treated as the lowliest form of servant
with only the barest of necessities provided for them. She also found a
kind of moral superiority on the part of the nuns, certainly not in keeping
with the charitable expressions toward unmarried women espoused in
public by the order.