The skills you need guide to interpersonal skills

Social Skills
Social skills encompass a wide range of relationship and interpersonal skills. 
These range from leadership through to influencing and persuading, and 
managing conflict, as well as working in a team.
SOCIAL SKILLS, IN THE EMOTIONAL 
INTELLIGENCE SENSE, INCLUDE:
• Persuasion and influencing skills (see Chapter 5)
• Communication skills (see Chapter 1 and also An Introduction to 
Communication Skills)
• Conflict management skills
• Leadership Skills (see our eBooks, the Skills You Need Guide to 
Leadership)
• Change management skills (see Part 4 of the Skills You need Guide to 
Leadership, Making it Happen).
• Building bonds (rapport) (see the section earlier in this chapter)
• Collaboration and cooperation, and team-working skills
These ‘social skills’ are often rooted in self-esteem and personal confidence. 
By developing your social skills, and being easy to talk to, a good listener, sharing 
and trustworthy, you also become more charismatic and attractive to others.
This in turn improves self-esteem and confidence which makes it easier for 
positive personal dialogue and a greater understanding and acceptance of your 
own emotions.
SUMMARY
Working on your emotional intelligence could well be the most important 
aspect of your personal development.
Research has shown that people with higher levels of emotional intelligence enjoy 
more satisfying and successful careers and relationships. If you think about ways to 
enhance your emotional intelligence, you are likely to become more interesting and 
attractive to others, or charismatic, and you will also give your self-esteem a boost.

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2.
ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SKILLS
An important aspect of both communication more generally, 
and emotional intelligence in particular, is saying the right thing.
At times, the ‘right thing’ may be the truth; at other times, 
it may be what someone wants or needs to hear.
Understanding the difference is crucial, and is the foundation 
to the concepts of both politeness and diplomacy.
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN OR 
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY?
“THEN YOU SHOULD SAY WHAT YOU 
MEAN,” THE MARCH HARE WENT ON.
“I DO,” ALICE HASTILY REPLIED;
“AT LEAST—AT LEAST I MEAN WHAT I SAY 
—THAT’S THE SAME THING, YOU KNOW.”
“NOT THE SAME THING A BIT!” SAID THE 
HATTER. “YOU MIGHT JUST AS WELL SAY 
THAT “I SEE WHAT I EAT” IS THE SAME 
THING AS “I EAT WHAT I SEE”!”
Lewis Carroll 
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland