Scatter Brained

C H A P T E R   3

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68
S C A T T E R B R A I N E D
05
  K-I-S-S-I-N-G:
Tidbits from the History of Kissing
No one really knows where the fi rst smooch came from. One 
less-than-romantic theory suggests it began with ancient 
mothers passing chewed-up food to babies, which is 1) not 
sexy, and 2) gross. And kissing isn’t universal: People in Japan 
and Siberia only started kissing relatively recently, and some 
sub-Saharan African societies still don’t do it.
✖  ✖  ✖
 
A thousand years ago, cere-
monial kisses were much 
more  common  than  today. 
Th
 ere was the holy kiss of 
peace, exchanged to symbol-
ize unity in Christ; the kiss of 
veneration, bestowed on holy 
objects; you even got a kiss 
when  you  received  an  aca-
demic degree. By the 18th 
century,  however,  much  of 
that ceremonial pecking had 
been replaced by handshakes, 
oaths, and written docu-
ments. One ritual kiss is still 
as popular as ever: that of 
couples sealing their marriage 
vows.
✖  ✖  ✖
German psychology profes-
sor Onur Güntürkün spent 
Perpetual Morning 
Breath
The erotic signifi cance  of  the 
kiss  didn’t  become  dominant 
in Europe until the 17th cen-
tury. Not coincidentally, that 
was around the same time that 
dentists in France fi rst  promot-
ed the use of toothbrushes. 
(Yes, the French were on the 
cutting  edge  of  dental  hy-
giene!) Before toothbrushes, 
the average European mouth 
was such a grim place that 
16th-century maids often car-
ried clove- 
studded apples 
when courting, insisting their 
suitors take a bite before at-
tempting a kiss.

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69
two years watching people make out in public parks and air-
ports, eventually observing 124 “scientifi cally valid” kisses. 
He concluded that people are 
twice  as  likely  to  tilt  their 
heads to the right when kiss-
ing than to the left. What’s 
the deal? Turns out our kiss-
ing proclivities are deter-
mined way in advance of the 
junior prom: According to 
Güntürkün, the direction you 
turn  your  head  while  in  the 
womb will likely be the direc-
tion you tilt your head when 
kissing.
✖  ✖  ✖
Kissing has been banned 
 
repeatedly. Roman emperor 
Tiberius outlawed kissing in 
public ceremonies, hoping it 
would help curb the spread of 
herpes. In 16th-century Na-
ples kissing was punishable 
by  death,  and  in  1439  Henry 
VI  banned  it  to  combat  the 
plague. In 2004, Indonesia 
passed laws that ban not only 
public nudity, erotic dancing, 
and “sex parties,” but also 
punish public kissing with up 
to fi ve years in prison. Flash-
ing carries a stiff  penalty, too: 
Behind the Kiss: