21 ARNIE AND MICHAEL
Ever since you've been gone
I walk around with sunglasses on
But I know I will be just fine
As long as I can make my jet black
Caddy shine.
— Moon Martin
Michael caught Arnie in the driveway, headed for Christine. He put a hand on
Arnie's shoulder. Arnie shook it off and went on digging for his car-keys.
"Arnie. Please."
Arnie turned around fast. For a moment he seemed on the verge of making
that evening's blackness total by striking his father. Then some of the
tenseness in his body subsided and he leaned back against the car, touching it
with his left hand, stroking it, seeming to draw strength from it.
"All right," he said. "What do you want?"
Michael opened his mouth and then seemed unsure how to proceed. An
expression of helplessness—it would have been funny if it hadn't been so
grimly awful—spread over his face. He seemed to have aged, to have gone
gray and haggard around the edges.
"Arnie," he said, seeming to force the words out against some great weight of
opposing inertia, "Arnie, I'm so sorry."
"Yeah," Arnie said, and turned away again, opening the driver's side door. A
pleasant smell of well-cared-for car drifted out. "I could see that from the
way you stood up for me."
"Please," he said. "This is hard for me. Harder than you know."
Something in his voice made Arnie turn back. His father's eyes were
desperate and unhappy.
"I didn't say I wanted to stand up for you," Michael said. "I see her side as
well, you know. I see the way you pushed her, determined to have your own
way at any cost—"
Arnie uttered a harsh laugh. "Just like her, in other words."
"Your- mother is going through the change of life," Michael said quietly. "It's
been extremely difficult for her."
Arnie blinked at him, at first not even sure what he had heard. It was as if his
father had suddenly said something to him in igpay atinlay; it seemed to have
no more relevance to what they were talking about than baseball scores.
"W-What?"
"The change. She's frightened, and she's drinking too much, and sometimes
she's in physical pain. Not often," he said, seeing the alarmed look on Arnie's
face, "and she's been to the doctor, and the change is all it is. But she's in an
emotional uproar. You're her only child, and the way she is now, all she can
see is that she wants things to be right for you, no matter what the cost."
"She wants things her way. And that isn't anything new. She's
always
wanted
things her way."
"That she thinks the right thing for you is whatever she thinks the right thing is
goes without saying," Michael said. "But what makes you think you are so
different? Or better? You were after her ass in there, and she knew it. So did
I."
"She started it—"
"No, you started it when you brought the car home. You knew how she felt.
And she's right about another thing. You've changed. From the first day you
came home with Dennis and said you'd bought a car; that's when it started.
Do you think that hasn't upset her? Or me? To have your kid start exhibiting
personality traits you didn't even know existed?"
"Hey, Dad, come on! That's a little—"
"We never see you, you're always working on your car or out with Leigh."
"You're starting to sound just like her."
Michael suddenly grinned—but it was a sad grin "You're wrong about that.
Just as wrong as you can be.
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