turn that off at five if
they're not back,
she reminded herself), a cool clunk from the freezer as the
Frigidaire's icemaker made another cube.
She opened the fridge, saw a six-pack of Coke sitting in there next to Daddy's
beer, and thought:
Get thee behind me, Satan.
Then she grabbed a can
anyway. Never mind what it did to her complexion. She wasn't going with
anyone now. If she broke out, so what?
The empty house made her uneasy. It never had before; she had always felt
pleased and absurdly competent when they left her alone—a holdover from
childhood days, no doubt. The house had always seemed comforting to her.
But now the sounds of the kitchen, of the rising wind outside, even the scuff
of her slippers on the linoleum those sounds seemed sinister, even
frightening. If things had worked out differently, Arnie could have been here
with her. Her folks, especially her mother, had liked him. At first. Now, of
course, after what had happened, her mother would probably wash her mouth
out with soap if she knew Leigh was even thinking of him. But she
did
think
of him. Too much of the time. Wondering why he had changed. Wondering
how he was taking the breakup. Wondering if he was okay.
The wind rose to a shriek and then fell off a little, reminding her—for no
reason, of course—of a car's engine reving and then failing off.
Won't come back from Dead Mans' Curve,
her mind whispered strangely,
and for no reason at all (of course) she went to the sink and poured her Coke
down the drain and wondered if she was going to cry, or throw up, or what.
She realized with dawning surprise that she was in a state of low terror.
For no reason at all.
Of course.
At least her parents had left the car in the garage (cars, she had cars on the
brain). She didn't like to think of her dad trying to drive home from the
Stewarts' in this, half-soused from three or four martinis (except that he
always called them martoonis, with typical adult kittenishness). It was only
three blocks, and the two of them had left the house bundled up and giggling,
looking like a couple of large children on their way to make a snowman. The
walk home would sober them up. It would be good for them. It would be
good for them if…
The wind rose again—gunning around the eaves and then falling off—and she
suddenly saw her mother an father walking up the street through clouds of
blowing snow, holding onto each other to keep from falling on their drunken,
lovable asses, laughing. Daddy maybe goosing Mom through her snowpants.
The way he sometimes goosed her when he got a buzz on was also something
that had always irritated Leigh precisely because it seemed such a juvenile
thing for a grown man to do. But of course she loved them both. Her love
was a part of the irritation, and her occasional exasperation with them was
very much a part of her love.
They were walking together through a snow as thick as heavy smoke and then
two huge green eyes opened in the white behind them, seeming to float eyes
that looked terribly like the circles of the dashboard instruments she had seen
as she was choking to death… and they were growing… stalking her
helpless, laughing, squiffy parents.
She drew a harsh breath and went back into the living room. She approached
the telephone, almost touched it, then veered away and went back to the
window, looking out into the white and cupping her elbows in the palms of
her hands.
What had she been about to do? Call them? Tell them she was alone in the
house and had gotten thinking about Arnie's old and somehow slinking car,
his steel girlfriend Christine, and that she wanted them to come home because
she was scared for them and herself? Was that what she was going to do?
Cute, Leigh. Cute.
The ploughed blacktop of the street was disappearing under new snow, but
slowly; it had only just begun to snow really hard, and the wind periodically
tried to clear the street with strong gusts that sent membranes of powder
twisting and rising to merge with the whitish-grey sky of the stormy afternoon
like slowly twisting smoke-ghosts
Oh, but the terror was there, it was real, and something was going to happen.
She knew it. She had been shocked to hear that Arnie had been arrested for
smuggling, but that reaction had been nowhere as strong as the sick fear she
had felt when she opened the paper on an earlier day and saw what had
happened to Buddy Repperton and those other two boys, that day when her
first crazy, terrible, and somehow certain thought had been.
Christine.
And now the premonition of some new piece of black work hung heavily on
her, and she couldn't get rid of it, it was crazy, Arnie had been in
Philadelphia at a chess tourney, she had asked around that day, that was all
there was to it and she would not think about this anymore she would turn on
all the radios the TV fill the house up with sound not think about that car that
smelled like the grave that car that had tried to kill her murder her.
"Oh damn," she whispered. "Can't you
quit?"
Her arms, sculpted rigidly in gooseflesh.
Abruptly she went to the telephone again, found the phone book, and as Arnie
had done on an evening some two weeks before, she called Libertyville
Community Hospital. A pleasant-voiced receptionist told her that Mr Guilder
had been checked out that morning. Leigh thanked her and hung up.
She stood thoughtful in the empty living room, looking at the small tree, the
presents, the manger in the corner. Then she looked up the Guilders' number
in the phone book and dialled it.
"Leigh," Dennis said, happily pleased.
The phone in her hand felt cold. "Dennis, can I come over and talk to you?"
"Today?" he asked, surprised.
Confused thoughts tumbled through her mind. The ham in the oven. She had to
turn the oven off at five. Her parents would be home. It was Christmas Eve.
The snow. And… and she didn't think it would be safe to be out tonight. Out
walking on the sidewalks, when anything might come looming out of the
snow. Anything at all. Not tonight, that was the worst. She didn't think it
would be safe to be out tonight.
"Leigh?"
"Not tonight," she said. "I'm house-sitting for my folks.
They're at a cocktail party."
"Yeah, mine too," Dennis said, amused. "My sister and I are playing
Parcheesi. She cheats."
Faintly: "I do not!"
At another time it might have been funny. It wasn't now.
After Christmas. Maybe on Tuesday. The twenty-sixth. Would that be all
right?"
"Sure," he said. "Leigh, is it about Arnie?"
"No," she said, clutching the telephone so tightly that her hand felt numb. She
had to struggle with her voice. "No—not Arnie. I want to talk to you about
Christine."
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