Chapter 5: Career
51
tection against cancer was to detect it as early as possible, I examined
the widely used methods of detection. I read about mammography and
was astounded to learn that it failed to detect a large percentage of
cases. As I wondered how to make detection more accurate,
I heard
about a research internship program at ____ Cancer Center. I jumped
at the opportunity.
There, my mentors encouraged me to investigate cancer’s genetic
causes. I became intrigued by a gene suspected to play a role in the
onset of breast cancer. We examined a process of gene-silencing—
known as methylation—that changed DnA structure while keeping
the sequence itself intact. Through a series of assays, we pinpointed
the methylated sites in the gene sequence that distinguished cancerous
breast cells from healthy cells. These were markers of disease!
The thrill came from knowing the vast clinical applications of the
discovery. Finding such markers is a step toward
the individualization
of cancer treatment. genomics-based diagnostics would detect cancer
earlier than traditional procedures. Also, since methylation does not
change the DnA sequence, it is reversible. Therapeutics could target
these sites and minimize harm to healthy tissue.
Personalized cancer diagnostics promise a new dawn, but they are
not yet reality. Many more genes need to be studied before we can fully
comprehend the roots of the disease. Awed by the complexity of can-
cer, I realized that my dream was much more intricate than I imagined.
However, my youthful passion in medicine did not dwindle. Instead,
it strengthened and matured into a strategy.
As my vague goals shaped
into specific inquiries, my curiosity became insatiable. The joy of un-
covering the unknown affirmed my love for science. My generation will
keep pushing the boundaries of knowledge, and nothing would give
me more fulfillment than continuing to fight in the war on cancer.
I recall that rainy Qing Ming morning when I gazed at my grandfa-
ther’s gravesite. I wish I could tell him about the adventure he inspired.
This war will be arduous, but every little “eureka!” along the way is a
portent of victory.
50 Successful Ivy
League Application Essays
52
AnAlysis
The author of this essay might have taken the boring approach of
just describing where she worked and what she did while researching,
but she found a way to tie her research to a personal experience. By
explaining in detail why the research was intellectually challenging to
her, the author gave readers clues to her character. From her child-
hood experience, we understand her motivation for wanting to help
find a cure for cancer. Learning about her grandfather’s death sheds
light on why she sought out an internship at the cancer center and why
she now has an interest in pursuing a career in the field. It
always adds
meaning to a student’s career goals when we understand the roots of
his or her interest. Many students make the mistake of sharing lofty
dreams such as finding the cure to cancer but don’t back them up with
actual actions that show that they are working toward making a differ-
ence. This student not only presents the global problem but demon-
strates how she has and will continue to play a role in addressing it.
As the author describes her internship, she clearly explains what
she did to research cancer. Most importantly,
she outlines it in a way
that is understandable to a layperson. As readers, we can easily con-
ceive the subject’s intellectual hold on her. This student’s writing pro-
vides enough detail that we understand the complexity of her research
but not so much that we are bogged down with too much information.
It’s not enough to just state what you did; it’s more compelling to ex-
plain why.
In the fifth paragraph, the student ties her past experiences to her
future plans. She explains that she intends to pursue a career in the
sciences and to continue cancer research. Admissions
officers like to
understand the direction that students are taking so that they can visu-
alize how they will contribute to society while undergraduates and after
graduation as well. They want to know why you are pursuing a career
field and what you hope to achieve as a part of it.
In the last paragraph, the student refers back to her personal ex-
perience. She wraps up the essay in a highly relatable way by con-
necting her grandfather’s death to the intellectual excitement of cancer
research as it applies to her career plans. She packs a lot into a short
amount of space but does so in a way that
flows smoothly and keeps
our interest.
