Mindset : The New Psychology of Success pdfdrive com

Proving You’re Special
When people with the fixed mindset opt for success over growth, what are they
really trying to prove? That they’re special. Even superior.
When  we  asked  them,  “When  do  you  feel  smart?”  so  many  of  them  talked
about times they felt like a special person, someone who was different from and
better than other people.
Until I discovered the mindsets and how they work, I, too, thought of myself
as  more  talented  than  others,  maybe  even  more  worthy  than  others  because  of
my  endowments.  The  scariest  thought,  which  I  rarely  entertained,  was  the
possibility  of  being  ordinary.  This  kind  of  thinking  led  me  to  need  constant
validation.  Every  comment,  every  look  was  meaningful—it  registered  on  my
intelligence scorecard, my attractiveness scorecard, my likability scorecard. If a
day went well, I could bask in my high numbers.
One  bitter  cold  winter  night,  I  went  to  the  opera.  That  night,  the  opera  was
everything  you  hope  for,  and  everyone  stayed  until  the  very  end—not  just  the
end  of  the  opera,  but  through  all  the  curtain  calls.  Then  we  all  poured  into  the
street,  and  we  all  wanted  taxis.  I  remember  it  clearly.  It  was  after  midnight,  it
was  seven  degrees,  there  was  a  strong  wind,  and,  as  time  went  on,  I  became
more and more miserable. There I was, part of an undifferentiated crowd. What
chance did I have? Suddenly, a taxi pulled up right next to me. The handle of the
back  door  lined  up  perfectly  with  my  hand,  and  as  I  entered,  the  driver
announced,  “You  were  different.”  I  lived  for  these  moments.  Not  only  was  I
special. It could be detected from a distance.
The  self-esteem  movement  encourages  this  kind  of  thinking  and  has  even
invented devices to help you confirm your superiority. I recently came across an
ad for such a product. Two of my friends send me an illustrated list each year of
the  top  ten  things  they  didn’t  get  me  for  Christmas.  From  January  through
November, they clip candidate items from catalogs or download them from the
Internet.  In  December,  they  select  the  winners.  One  of  my  all-time  favorites  is
the pocket toilet, which you fold up and return to your pocket after using. This

---

year  my  favorite  was  the
I  LOVE  ME
 mirror,  a  mirror  with
I  LOVE  ME
 in  huge
capital  letters  written  across  the  bottom  half.  By  looking  into  it,  you  can
administer  the  message  to  yourself  and  not  wait  for  the  outside  world  to
announce your specialness.
Of course, the mirror is harmless enough. The problem is when special begins
to  mean  better  than  others.  A  more  valuable  human  being.  A  superior  person.
An entitled person.