Praise Jesus.
“Theodore, honey, please, please, please stop crying.”
In the plastic pool the baby slapped the water and shrieked. “Jesus,
Annabelle,” said Christopher. “Keep it down.”
Praise the Lord,
came distinctly from somewhere above.
“What in God’s name—” said Olive, putting her head back, squinting upward.
“We rent the top floor to a Christian,” Ann said in a whisper, rolling her eyes.
“I mean, who would think here in this neighborhood we’d get stuck with a tenant
who’s a Christian?”
“Christian?” said Olive, looking back at her daughter-in-law, thoroughly
confused. “Are you a Muslim, Ann? Is there a problem?”
“Muslim?” The girl’s plain, big face looked pleasantly at Olive while she bent
to pick up the baby from the pool. “I’m not a Muslim.” Quizzically: “Wait,
you’re
not a Muslim, are you? Christopher never—”
“Oh, godfrey,” said Olive.
“What she means,” Christopher explained to his mother, fiddling with a large
barbecue grill near the staircase, “is that most people in this neighborhood don’t
go to church. We live in the
cool
part of Brooklyn, hippity hop as hell, Mother
dear, where people are either too artsyfartsy to believe in God, or too busy
making money. So it’s somewhat unusual to have a tenant who’s a real so-called
Christian.”
“You mean like a fundamentalist,” said Olive, amazed once again at how
talkative her son had become.
“Right,” said Ann. “That’s what he is. You know, fundamentally Christian.”
The boy had stopped his crying and, still holding his mother’s leg, said to
Olive in a high, earnest voice, “Whenever we swear, the parrot says ‘Praise
Jesus’ or ‘God is king.’ ”
And to Olive’s horror and amazement, the child looked skyward and yelled,
“Shit!”
“Honey,” said Ann, and smoothed his hair.
Praise God,
came the response from above.
“That’s a parrot?” asked Olive. “Good Lord, it sounds like my Aunt Ora.”
“Yeah, a parrot,” said Ann. “Weird, huh.”
“You couldn’t have said no pets allowed?”
“Oh, we’d never do that. We love pets. Dog-Face is part of our family.” Ann
nodded in the direction of the black dog, who, having returned to his ratty bed,
now had his long face resting on his paws, his eyes closed.
Olive could barely eat her dinner. She had thought Christopher was going to grill
hamburgers. But he had grilled tofu hot dogs, and for the grown-ups had, of all
things, diced up a can of oysters and poked them into these so-called hot dogs.
“Are you okay, Mom?” It was Ann who asked.
“Fine,” said Olive. “When I travel, I sometimes find I’m not hungry. I think
I’ll just eat this hot dog roll.”
“Sure. Help yourself. Theodore, isn’t it nice to have Grandma come and
stay?”
Olive put the roll back onto her plate. Not once had it occurred to her that she
was “Grandma” to Ann’s children, who had been, she only recently discovered
as the hot dogs had been set before her, fathered by two different men. Theodore
did not respond to his mother’s question but gazed at Olive while he ate with his
mouth open, making appalling chewing sounds.
Less than ten minutes, and the meal was over. Olive told Chris that she’d like
to help clean up but that she didn’t know where anything went. “Nowhere,”
Chris said. “Can’t you tell? In this house nothing goes anywhere.”
“Mom, you go make yourself comfortable,” Ann said.
So Olive went down into the basement, where they had brought her earlier
with her little suitcase, and she lay down on the double bed. The fact was, the
basement was the nicest place Olive had seen in the house. It was “finished” and
painted all white, and even had, next to the washing machine, a white telephone.
She wanted to cry. She wanted to wail like a child. She sat up and dialed the
phone.
“Put him on,” she said, and waited until she could hear only silence. “Smack,
Henry,” she said, and she waited a while longer until she thought she heard a
tiny grunt.
“Well. She’s a
big
girl,” said Olive. “Your new daughter-in-law. Graceful as a
truck driver. A little dumb, I think. Something I can’t put my finger on. But nice.
You’d like her. You two would get along fine.”
Olive looked around the basement room she was in, and thought she heard
Henry grunt again. “No, she’s not going to hightail it up the coast anytime soon.
Got her hands full here. Belly full, too. They’ve got me down in the basement.
It’s kind of nice, Henry. Painted white.” She tried to think what else to say, what
Henry would want to hear. “Chris seems good,” she said. She paused for a long
time after that. “Talkative,” she added. “Okay, Henry,” she finally said, and
hung up.
Back upstairs, no one was around. Thinking they must be putting the children
to bed, Olive stepped through the kitchen and out onto the concrete yard, where
twilight was gathering.
“Caught me,” said Ann, and Olive’s heart banged.
“Godfrey. You caught me. I didn’t see you sitting there.”
Ann was holding a cigarette in one hand, balancing a beer on her high belly
with the other, her legs apart as she sat on a stool by the barbecue. “Have a seat,”
Ann said, gesturing toward the beach chair Olive had been sitting in earlier.
“Unless it makes you crazy to see a pregnant woman drink and smoke. Which I
totally understand if it does. But it’s just one cigarette and one beer a day. You
know, when the kids finally get put down. I call it my meditation time.”
“I see,” Olive said. “Well, meditate away. I can go back inside.”
“Oh, no. I’d love your company.”
In the dusk she saw the girl smile at her. Say what you might about judging a
book by its cover, Olive always found faces revealing. Still—the bovine nature
of this girl was baffling.
Was
Ann a bit stupid? Olive had taught school enough
years to know that large amounts of insecurity could take the form of stupidity.
She lowered herself into her chair, and looked away. She didn’t want to guess
what might be seen in her own face.
Cigarette smoke wafted in front of her. It amazed her that anyone would
smoke these days, and she couldn’t help but feel it as a kind of assault. “Say,”
Olive said, “that doesn’t make you feel sick?”
“What, smoking this?”
“Yes. I shouldn’t think that would help the nausea.”
“What nausea?”
“I thought you had the pukes.”
“The pukes?” Ann dropped the cigarette into the bottle of beer. She looked
over at Olive, her dark eyebrows raised.
“You haven’t been sick with the pregnancy?”
“Oh, no. I’m a horse.” Ann patted her belly. “I just keep spittin’ these things
out with no problem.”
“Apparently.” Olive wondered if the girl was tipsy from the beer. “Where’s
your newest husband?”
“He’s reading Theodore a story. It’s nice to have them bonding.”
Olive opened her mouth to ask what kind of bond Theodore had with his real
father, but she stopped. Maybe you weren’t supposed to say “real father” these
days.
“How old are you, Mom?” Ann was scratching at her cheek.
“I’m seventy-two,” Olive said, “and I wear a size ten shoe.”
“Hey, cool. I wear a size ten. I’ve always had big feet. You look good for
seventy-two,” Ann added. “My mother’s sixty-three and she—”
“She what?”
“Oh.” Ann shrugged. “You know, she just doesn’t look so good.” Ann hoisted
herself up, leaned toward the grill, where she picked up a box of kitchen
matches. “If you don’t mind, Mom, I’m just going to have one more cigarette.”
Olive did mind. This was Christopher’s baby in there, trying to develop its
own respiratory system right about now, and what kind of woman would
jeopardize such a thing? But she said loudly, “Do whatever you want. I don’t
give a damn.”
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