Musashi's Dokkodo (The Way of Walking Alone)

Precept 8:
Never let yourself be saddened by a
separation
“Do not judge men by mere appearances; for the light
laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the
depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober
veil that covers a divine peace and joy.” — Edward Chapin
Monk:
“Never let yourself be saddened by separation” is an easy statement
for a man who had no meaningful relationships in his life to utter.
Throughout his life the few associations that Musashi did have with
others were completely one-way, based entirely in what he could get
out of the relationship. More often than not he was the boss and
everybody else was servile. Musashi had disciples and he was their
teacher, this is not a relationship of equals but rather one of
subservience and dominance. Musashi’s version of the relationship
was on his terms and his terms only. Relationship as we know the
word today was not in his lexicon. So when Musashi says have no
emotion about leaving or being left, it is on his terms. Even when it
appears to not be on Musashi’s terms, he internally reframes the
moment by not attaching emotion to the event.
The ability to act in such a manner, in my opinion, has the makings
of a very scary person. It appears that prior to writing down this piece
of wisdom he had lived his life this way, even in his youth. An
example is the fact that he left the family of his birth, never to return.
This ability to walk away is not an act of training, something that

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Musashi set out to learn, this is systemic to who he was as a person,
a loner by birth.
Death is the ultimate separation and Musashi was certainly awash in
the validation of both the temporary and permanent variety of
separation. Nevertheless his world was very different from our world,
especially when it came to death and love. For example, it wasn’t
until recent history that a long life and a loving relationship with a
spouse were considered to be the norm. For most of history there
was an assumption that most folks would meet an abrupt end, via
accident, illness, violence, or childbirth. Death from old age was the
realm of the aristocracy, and even then disease could still slip
through the cracks of the castle wall and take the nobility right along
with the lower classes. Nevertheless, for most of society throughout
much of history dying of what we nowadays consider old age was
rare.
Today, almost all of life’s separations are against our will. We are
simple creatures when it comes to associations. More often than not
our associations are formed because we see a value in the grouping
and will keep those associations unless forced to separate. For
example, marriage was historically more often than not a resource-
based decision, one made for reasons other than love. Even today
that holds true in many parts of the world.
Now there are many dynamics that went into the historical and
modern marriage and not all fit this mold of resource-based survival,
but the outcomes without exception are social. This is because with
few exceptions human beings are social animals; all of history shows
this human need for interdependence. An association can be
grounded in many reasons. These can be as basic as providing
needed resources or exchanging skills, to something complex and
rooted in a deep emotion as love or desire. As social animals we
share not only resources, but also emotions. And, we can inoculate
or infect each other with emotions depending on the dosage. That’s
one of the reasons why our Constitutional freedom of speech doesn’t
extend to shouting “fire” in a crowded movie theater when there’s no

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legitimate danger. This is because a panicked crowd too easily
devolves into a dangerous and unruly mob.
Separation from others can create loneliness, and loneliness is a
slow, tough distorter of the human experience. There are few people
who can be alone and not become twisted in a bad way by a solitary
life. We as humans desire each other, and for that balanced life we
need each other. Musashi, however, was different. He chose his
associations like the rest of us, but he also chose his separations
too. And he had many of them. He had the ability to walk away from
a situation, such as his family, and he also had the ability to make
new relationships whenever it suited his needs. Consequently he
used separation as a tool. His actions lacked much, if any, emotion;
they were carefully thought out and strategic.
In the end, it is easy of Musashi to say, “Never let yourself be
saddened by a separation,” because that’s who he was, how he
interacted with the world. Nevertheless, Musashi’s admonishment is
a distortion of the human experience and I believe that this idea
should be rejected. To listen to what he has to say and integrate this
idea, to never be sad because you are separated from something or
somebody, tears at the very fiber of what it is to be human. Living a
life that does not know the pain of separation is a life that misses a
color from the palate of the world.