resume learning.
Recently, someone asked me, “What keeps you up at night?” And I said, “It’s
the fear that the mindset concept will be used to make kids feel good when
they’re not learning—just like the failed self-esteem movement.” The growth
mindset is meant to help kids learn, not to paper over the fact that they are not
learning.
Finally, when people realize I’m
the mindset person, they often say, “Oh, yea!
Praise the process not the outcome, right?” Well, not quite. This is such a
common misconception. In all of our research on praise, we indeed praise the
process, but we
tie it to the outcome, that is, to children’s learning, progress, or
achievements. Children need to understand that engaging
in that process helped
them learn.
Not long ago, a mother told me how very frustrating it was that she was not
allowed to praise her daughter when the child did something wonderful—that
she could only praise her when she was struggling. No! No! No!
Of course you
can appreciate your children’s wonderful accomplishments, but then tie those
accomplishments to the process they engaged in.
And remember, we don’t have to always be praising. Inquiring about the
child’s process and just showing interest in it goes a very long way.
Misunderstanding #3. A growth mindset equals telling kids they can do
anything. Many’s the time I’ve heard educators say, “I’ve
always had a growth
mindset. I always tell my students, ‘You can do anything!’
” Few people believe
in children’s potential as much as I do, or yearn to see all children fulfill their
enormous promise. But it doesn’t happen by simply telling them, “You can do
anything.” It happens by helping them gain the skills and find the resources to
make progress toward their goals. Otherwise, it’s an empty reassurance.
It puts
the onus entirely on the student and may make them feel like a failure if they
don’t reach their goals.
One final word about putting the onus on the student. It broke my heart to
learn that some educators and coaches were blaming kids for having a fixed
mindset—scolding or criticizing them for not displaying growth-mindset
qualities. Notice that these adults were absolving themselves of the
responsibility, not only for teaching a growth mindset but also for the child’s
learning: “I can’t teach this child. He has a fixed mindset.” Let’s be totally clear
here. We as educators must take seriously our responsibility to create growth-
mindset-friendly environments—where kids feel safe from judgment, where they
understand that we believe
in their potential to grow, and where they know that
we are totally dedicated to collaborating with them on their learning. We are in
the business of helping kids thrive, not finding reasons why they can’t.
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