In memory of Nicole Lewanski

Twenty-two
I 
SPENT
C
HRISTMAS
Eve at my parent’s place and woke up the next day to the
sound of carols drifting through my window from our neighbors’ house. They
played the same Michael Bublé soundtrack every single year. I glanced at my
phone and realized with a shock that it was almost noon.
I slipped into my favorite sundress, brushed my teeth, and ran a comb through
my hair. When I got downstairs, I could see my parents were already setting up
Christmas lunch. It was a tradition we had for as long as I could remember.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked.
Dad was clutching a stack of placemats, and he looked up from the table and
beamed at me. “Good morning, beautiful. Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas, Dad.” He drew me into a bear hug and kissed me lightly on
the forehead.
I wandered into the kitchen where Mum was checking on the turkey. “Merry
Christmas, Mum,” I gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “Do you need me to
help out with anything?”
“I think I have it under control,” she said with a smile. She turned and looked
at me, her gaze traveling down the length of my dress. “Do you want to put
something else on?”
“What do you mean? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
She sighed. “It’s a little plain for Christmas lunch, don’t you think? How about
that nice dress I got you, the dark green one with the buttons down the front?”
“I’m happy with the dress I’m wearing,” I said, a little tightly. I had sworn to
myself that I wouldn’t let my mother get to me today. Besides, it was only lunch,
and then I was free to meet up with Rad later in the day. I was looking forward
to spending our first Christmas together.
“We have guests coming,” she said, pulling on her oven mitts.
“We do?”
The doorbell rang.
“Can you get the door, Audrey? I have to deal with this turkey.”

---

“Sure.” I made my way to the front door and opened it, a ready smile painted
on my face.
“Hi, darling.” It was Zoe and Duck.
My smile froze. “Zoe,” my voice strangled. “Duck.”
“Hey, Audrey,” said Duck. “It’s good to see you.” He looked like he had lost
a lot of weight, and there were dark circles under his eyes. I felt a stab of guilt
when I thought of how quickly I had moved on with Rad.
Zoe pulled me into a quick embrace. Duck stuck out his hand as I leaned in for
a hug, my nose bumping awkwardly against his ear. It was on the tip of my
tongue to ask what they were doing here, when the realization struck me. This
was my mother’s doing. She had invited them here. A sick feeling gripped my
stomach.
“I didn’t know you were back from your trip.”
“We just got back a few days ago. Didn’t your mother tell you?” Zoe gave me
a curious look.
I opened my mouth to respond when I heard Mum come up behind me.
“Zoe, Duck!” she beamed, kissing Zoe on the cheek and cupping her hands
affectionately around Duck’s face. “Look how tanned you are! You’re such a
handsome boy.” She linked her arm through his. “Come inside; lunch is almost
ready.”
Dad was coming down the stairs, just as we got to the dining room. “Perfect
timing! What would you like to drink? Beer? Champagne? I just opened a
bottle.”
“Champagne sounds wonderful,” said Zoe.
Dad disappeared into the kitchen and came back a few moments later with
champagne glasses and a bottle of Moët.
“Mum, can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked.
“Sure,” she replied.
I headed to the kitchen, with Mum in tow.
“What the hell, Mum?” I hissed, when I pulled the kitchen door shut behind
us.
She looked nonplussed. “What’s the problem, Audrey?”
I wanted to scream. “What’s the problem?” I said incredulously. “Mum, why is
Duck here at Christmas lunch? Have you gone insane?”
“They just got back from their trip to Europe, so I thought it would be nice to
catch up,” she said.
“And you didn’t consider how I would feel about this?”

---

“I didn’t think you’d mind. It’s just lunch, Audrey. You know Zoe and Duck
are like family to us.”
“This isn’t
 just
lunch,” I tried to keep my voice level. “It’s a fucking ambush.”
She blinked. “I would have told you they were coming, but I didn’t get a
chance this morning.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Mum. You did it on purpose. Why would you
do this? Why?” I could feel hot tears pushing their way out from behind my eyes.
“Why, why, why?”
She sighed. “Audrey, I’m not trying to push you back into Duck’s arms;
honestly, I’m not. You and Duck have so much history. He was here long before
Rad came into the picture. There’s no reason why you can’t be friends. That’s all
I’m saying.”
“Mum—you can’t do this. I’m with Rad now. You can’t invite my ex to
lunch without checking with me first. A normal person doesn’t do that; don’t
you see? It’s a nasty thing to do. Not just to me but to Duck as well.”
“I think you’re being overly dramatic.”
I took a deep breath. I felt like I was ready to explode.
“Listen to me, Mum.” She opened her mouth to interrupt me. “