IELTS Academic Task 2: How to write at a band 9
level
55
Several structural choices in Version 1 cause some uncertainty about its conceding
nature. Firstly, the paragraph does not frame itself with a cohesive device.
Version
2, on the other hand, uses the word ‘however’ to clearly indicate to the reader that
some form of cross examination is taking place. Version 2 also ensures the reader
understands that the conceding point doesn’t erode the essay’s overarching posi-
tion on the topic. This is executed in the discussion and concluding sentences, which
reinforce the essay’s central argument and preserve the overall flow of the writing.
Version 1’s conclusion is a confusing affront to the essay’s thesis.
Because Version 2 frames the nature of its point and preserves the argument of the
essay as a whole, it fits into the essay seamlessly:
The use of technology is increasing rapidly in the modern world. Growing technologi-
cal influence can even be seen in the classroom. Despite this, I disagree that tech-
nology will completely replace human teachers in the foreseeable future. Analysing
the inability of a technology-driven teacher to both cater to student learning needs
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