How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life pdfdrive com

Talk to people who can support you.
Remember that social connection
feels like a reward for our gregarious brains, so it usually helps to talk to
someone you trust about the situation.
Cut your losses.
If you’ve tried all the techniques here and they’re still being
unconstructive, it’s okay to minimize the exposure you have to them (see
“Ditch Your Sunk Costs” in 
Chapter 18
 to see why). Keep your interactions
short, businesslike, and polite, without investing much more of yourself.
R
ESOLVING
 T
ENSIONS
If there’s someone who’s causing you stress at the moment, try one or
more of these techniques:
Find common ground.
If you disagree on something, use the
following process: articulate the other person’s perspective as if you
truly believe it; identify what you both agree on; isolate the real
disagreement; explore how you could both be right; and decide what
you can do based on what you agree on.

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Spread positive contagion.
Your own mood can be infectious. Decide
what emotion you want to project into the conversation, and visualize
something that can quickly put you in that state of mind.
Assume “good person, bad circumstances.”
Get clear on the “true
facts”: what you know for sure. Then assume that the other person has
good intent, and imagine the circumstances that could be causing his or
her behavior. (Refer to the list of classic defensive mode triggers for
inspiration.)
Notice-acknowledge-offer.
If you can have a direct conversation, use
the “notice-acknowledge-offer” approach to check that you understand
the issue and to move things forward. Invite the person to talk (“I
noticed that…”), show empathy (“I’m sorry, that must be
challenging…”), and offer support (“Is there anything I can do?”).