Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness pdfdrive com

Compare only with yourself
Ignore what everyone else is doing.
Your life is not about everyone else; it’s
about you. Instead of focusing on their
path, pay attention to your own. That’s
where your journey is taking place.
Comparison is one of the most common reasons why we experience sadness. I
admit that comparison has stolen my joy on many occasions. It got to the stage
where I was often embarrassed by my life because it wasn’t as attractive as the
lives of those around me. I remember during school I’d rarely invite my friends
to my house because I felt embarrassed by its size and condition.
It’s very difficult in this world not to compare yourself with others. During one
of my meditations, I came across a memory of a wedding I attended as a child. I
joined in some games with the other kids; I must have only been 10 years old.
There was a boy who was a few years older than me and he was dictating what
game we’d play next. He appeared to be the leader.
There was one instance where we’d all stopped playing and this leader took a
good look around at us all to see what we were wearing. He was dressed very
smartly in expensive designer-branded clothes.
He was very rude to the other kids about their clothes. I started getting a little
anxious as he was coming round to me. My clothes were far from expensive. I
didn’t want him to mock me in front of the others and call me poor. This

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would’ve made me feel embarrassed, particularly as I was already insecure about
my home life.
Fortunately for me, there was a distraction and I got away without being called
out. However, the fear of being judged for my apparent lack of wealth never left
me. It just got worse as I got older. On special days at school when we got to
wear what we wanted, kids who didn’t wear branded clothes were often picked
on.
I’m not sure how my mum did it, with three of us kids and a minimum-wage job,
but she ensured we weren’t ever in this position. Nevertheless, if I was wearing
Nike-branded shoes, they’d be the cheapest ones you could buy. I’d keep
looking at the kids who were wearing the expensive ones, feeling poor and
insignificant. I wanted what they had and these moments reminded me of
everything I lacked.
Children can acquire the habit of comparing themselves to others from their
parents. Parents want the best for their child, so they might celebrate other kids
as a way to motivate their own child to do better. For example, they might say,
‘Saira got straight As in her exams. She’s so bright and has an amazing future
ahead of her.’
As harmless as the intention might be, this has the potential to undermine a
child’s abilities, especially if they’re not being praised for their achievements,
too. If direct comparisons are drawn, then a child can feel degraded and
worthless. Lines such as, ‘You should be as smart as Saira,’ are extremely
damaging and can leave a child forever feeling that they’re not good enough.
Brand marketing encourages us to draw comparisons all the time. You’re not
trendy if it’s not Apple, you’re not successful if it’s not Lamborghini and you’re
not fashionable if it’s not something an A-list celebrity wore. These implications
are made through cunning marketing strategies devised to prey on fear and low
self-esteem.
When we compare, we always look at those who we perceive to be doing better
than us; rarely do we look at those who are facing bigger struggles than us. So
we never feel grateful for what we 
do
have.
Looking to others for inspiration

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is fine, but there’s a difference
between inspiration and envy.
The rise of social media is proving problematic, too. Younger age groups of
children and adults are now becoming heavily absorbed in it, unaware that social
media presents rose-tinted versions of life as the truth, and it’s against this
fiction that they’re comparing themselves.
I’ve learned that sometimes real couples who are on the brink of giving up on
their relationship will post a multitude of loving images online so that no one
realizes what they’re going through and judges them. (Not that these couples
would be likely to share their arguments and disagreements online instead; no
one says halfway through an argument, ‘Hold on, let me take a picture of this.’)
People will post remarks saluting how amazing the couple’s relationship is and
how they wish they could have the same thing – drawing a comparison. They
have no idea what’s happening behind the scenes. We cannot see or understand
everything from one shot.
Comparing our lives with others’ that we see online is a waste of energy. People
only share photos in which they look attractive, happy and successful; not when
they’re tired, scared and lonely.
Similarly, I’ve also learned that some on-screen relationships are manufactured
for the purpose of benefiting those involved – for example, to build up their
public profiles. That’s why some of these couples appear to have more love
towards the camera than towards each other. Despite this, their snapshots can
still be sold.
Remember, if someone is sharing images or videos of their wonderful life, you
don’t know what they went through to get it. For every triumph, there might
have been a bucket load of blood, sweat and tears. Even for some of the public
figures who are constantly seen online as being in love, there might be a history
of rejection and bullying. For every gorgeous photo, there may be 50 that were
deleted.
I’ve come across people who are completely different on social media from who
they are in real life. The truth is distorted with filters and inspirational captions
to make everything seem better than it is. We all know this, but it’s easy to

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forget.
It appeals to human nature to turn to social media for instant validation through
likes, comments and followers. When we engage with social media, our brain
releases dopamine, a hormone that makes us feel good (and is also involved in
addiction). Have you considered that you might be comparing your life with
those of people who use social media to fill a void in themselves because they’ve
forgotten how to practise self-love?
This isn’t about what other people are doing or sharing online. It’s not about
what they’re up to in life or how far they’ve gone. It’s about you. Your
competition is you. Outdoing yourself is your daily task, and that’s where your
comparison should be directed: on the person you were yesterday. If you want to
be the greatest version of yourself, you have to keep the focus on your own life
and goals.
Competing with others encourages
bitterness, not betterment.
No two single journeys are the same. You’re on your own path. We all move
through life at our own pace and reach different stages at different times.
Someone else might already be at the most interesting part of their show while
you’re still making preparations behind the scenes for yours. This doesn’t mean
that you won’t get your opportunity to get on stage and shine.
Look at other people’s lives and applaud their successes. And then continue to
pursue your own. Be grateful for what you have right now. And remember how
far you’ve come as you continue in the direction of your dreams.

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