Everything Is F*cked


part of some greater movement, that they are about to join the winning side of



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part of some greater movement, that they are about to join the winning side of
history.
And, for that, you must give them faith.


HOW TO START YOUR OWN RELIGION
Step Two: Choose Your Faith
We all must have faith in something. Without faith, there is no hope.
Nonreligious  people  bristle  at  the  word  faith,  but  having  faith  is
inevitable. Evidence and science are based on past experience. Hope is based
on future experience. And you must always rely on some degree of faith that
something  will  occur  again  in  the  future.
15
 You  pay  your  mortgage  because
you have faith that money is real, and credit is real, and a bank taking all your
shit is real.
16
You tell your kids to do their homework because you have faith
that  their  education  is  important,  that  it  will  lead  them  to  their  becoming
happier, healthier adults. You have faith that happiness exists and is possible.
You  have  faith  that  living  longer  is  worth  it,  so  you  strive  to  stay  safe  and
healthy.  You  have  faith  that  love  matters,  that  your  job  matters,  that  any  of
this matters.
So,  there’s  no  such  thing  as  an  atheist.  Well,  sorta.  Depends  what  you
mean  by  “atheist.”
17
 My  point  is  that  we  must  all  believe,  on  faith,  that
something is important. Even if you’re a nihilist, you are believing, on faith,
that nothing is more important than anything else.
So, in the end, it’s all faith.
18
The  important  question,  then,  is:  Faith  in  what?  What  do  we  choose  to
believe?
Whatever our Feeling Brain adopts as its highest value, this tippy top of our
value hierarchy becomes the lens through which we interpret all other values.
Let’s call this highest value the “God Value.”
19
Some people’s God Value is
money.  These  people  view  all  other  things  (family,  love,  prestige,  politics)
through  the  prism  of  money.  Their  family  will  love  them  only  if  they  make
enough money. They will be respected only if they have money. All conflict,
frustration, jealousy, anxiety—everything boils down to money.
20
Other people’s God Value is love. They view all other values through the
prism  of  love—they’re  against  conflict  in  all  its  forms,  they’re  against
anything that separates or divides others.
Obviously,  many  people  adopt  Jesus  Christ,  or  Muhammad,  or  the
Buddha,  as  their  God  Value.  They  then  interpret  everything  they  experience
through the prism of that spiritual leader’s teachings.


Some  people’s  God  Value  is  themselves—or,  rather,  their  own  pleasure
and empowerment. This is narcissism: the religion of self-aggrandizement.
21
These people place their faith in their own superiority and deservedness.
Other  people’s  God  Value  is  another  person.  This  is  often  called
“codependence.”
22
 These  people  derive  all  hope  from  their  connection  with
another  individual  and  sacrifice  themselves  and  their  own  interests  for  that
individual.  They  then  base  all  their  behavior,  decisions,  and  beliefs  on  what
they think will  please that other  person—their own little  personal God.  This
typically  leads  to  really  fucked-up  relationships  with—you  guessed  it—
narcissists.  After  all,  the  narcissist’s  God  Value  is  himself,  and  the
codependent’s  God  Value  is  fixing  and  saving  the  narcissist.  So,  it  kind  of
works out in a really sick and fucked-up way. (But not really.)
All religions must start with a faith-based God Value. Doesn’t matter what
it is. Worshipping cats, believing in lower taxes, never letting your kids leave
the  house—whatever  it  is,  it  is  a  faith-based  value  that  this  one  thing  will
produce  the  best  future  reality,  and  therefore  gives  the  most  hope.  We  then
organize  our  lives,  and  all  other  values,  around  that  value.  We  look  for
activities  that  enact  that  faith,  ideas  that  support  it,  and  most  important,
communities that share it.
It’s  around  now  that  some  of  the  more  scientifically  minded  readers  start
raising their hands and pointing out that there are these things called facts and
there is ample evidence to demonstrate that facts exist, and we don’t need to
have faith to know that some things are real.
Fair  enough.  But  here’s  the  thing  about  evidence:  it  changes  nothing.
Evidence  belongs  to  the  Thinking  Brain,  whereas  values  are  decided  by  the
Feeling  Brain.  You  cannot  verify  values.  They  are,  by  definition,  subjective
and  arbitrary.  Therefore,  you  can  argue  about  facts  until  you’re  blue  in  the
face,  but  ultimately,  it  doesn’t  matter—people  interpret  the  significance  of
their experiences through their values.
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If  a  meteorite  hit  a  town  and  killed  half  the  people,  the  über-traditional
religious person would look at the event and say that it happened because the
town was full of sinners. The atheist would look at it and say that it was proof
there  is  no  God  (another  faith-based  belief,  by  the  way),  as  how  could  a
benevolent,  all-powerful  being  let  such  an  awful  thing  happen?  A  hedonist
would  look  at  it  and  decide  that  it  was  even  more  reason  to  party,  since  we
could  all  die  at  any  moment.  And  a  capitalist  would  look  at  it  and  start
thinking about how to invest in meteorite-defense technologies.
Evidence serves the interests of the God Value, not the other way around.
The only loophole to this arrangement is when evidence  itself  becomes  your


God  Value.  The  religion  built  around  the  worship  of  evidence  is  more
commonly  known  as  “science,”  and  it’s  arguably  the  best  thing  we’ve  ever
done  as  a  species.  But  we’ll  get  to  science  and  its  ramifications  in  the  next
chapter.
My point is that all values are faith-based beliefs. Therefore, all hope (and
therefore,  all  religions)  are  also  based  on  faith,  faith  that  something  can  be
important  and  valuable  and  right  despite  the  fact  that  there  will  never  be  a
way to verify it beyond all doubt.
For our purposes, I’ve defined three types of religions, each type based on
a different kind of God Value:

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