Everything Is F*cked

symbolically  sacrifice  a  life  (Jesus’s,  or  whoever’s)  for  the  salvation  of  all
mankind. That way, we didn’t have to keep cleaning blood off the altar every
other day. (And the flies—don’t even get me started on the flies.)
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Most  religious  practices  are  developed  for  the  alleviation  of  guilt.  You
could  even  say  that  that’s  really  all  prayer  is:  miniature  episodes  of  guilt
alleviation.  You  don’t  pray  to  God  to  say,  “Fuck,  yeah.  I’m  awesome!”  No.
Prayer  is  like  a  gratitude  journal  before  there  were  gratitude  journals:
“Thanks, God, for letting me exist, even though it sucks to be me sometimes.
I’m  sorry  I  thought  and  did  all  those  bad  things.”  Boom!  Sense  of  guilt
absolved, at least for a while.
Ideological  religions  handle  the  guilt  question  far  more  efficiently  than
spiritual  ones.  Nations  direct  people’s  feelings  of  existential  guilt  toward
service—“Our  country  gave  you  these  opportunities,  so  put  on  a  damn
uniform  and  fight  to  protect  them.”  Right-wing  ideologies  usually  perceive
necessary sacrifice in terms of protecting one’s country and family. Left-wing
ideologies usually see necessary sacrifice as giving up for the greater good of
all society.
Finally, in interpersonal religions, sacrificing oneself generates a sense of
romance and loyalty. (Think about marriage: I mean, you stand at an altar and
promise to give your life to this other person.) We all struggle with the sense
that  we  deserve  to  be  loved.  Even  if  your  parents  were  awesome,  you
sometimes  wonder,  wow,  why  me?  What  did  I  do  to  deserve  this?
Interpersonal religions have all sorts of rituals and sacrifices designed to make
people  feel  they  deserve  to  be  loved.  Rings,  gifts,  anniversaries,  wiping  the
piss  off  the  floor  when  I  miss  the  toilet—it’s  the  little  things  that  add  up  to
one big thing. You’re welcome, honey.

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