Determine the speed

Determine the speed

People have different questions and behaviors. For example, they may clear their throats, look at the floor during a conversation, cross their arms, stroke their heads, comb their hair, close their eyes, shake their legs, or shake their heads. At first we don’t even notice it. And if we feel it, then we don’t matter. However, people can exhibit this behavior for a variety of reasons. Perhaps this is an addictive habit. Or perhaps a sign of nervousness, insecurity, or aggression. Create a smart profile for everyone you need to deal with and place specific behavioral habits and habits in it, which is conditionally the norm for that person.

Correct deviations

Pay attention to any deviations from the norm indicated in a person’s profile. For example, your business partner has a habit of clearing his throat at the very beginning of a conversation. Today, however, while discussing some of his new initiatives, he is doing more than usual. It’s worth paying attention to such changes in behavior and perhaps asking your partner more questions than ever before.

Pay attention to the sign groups

Sometimes a single gesture makes no sense, but if it is shared with others, it almost always implies some special situation or hidden intention of the speaker. When we talk to a business partner, we usually remember that he just clears his throat. But today, this condition is often accompanied by scratching of the head and shaking of the foot in the air. Be careful.

Compare and contrast

So you feel like someone is acting a little differently than usual. Go with a sign to see how someone treats someone other than you. Notice how he interacts with others in the room. Or how to answer an unexpected incoming call. Will the facial expression change? Conclusion and what about body language?

Do not forget about the mirror

The human brain has something similar to mirror neurons that reflect the state of other people. By default, you read the main language of the interlocutor. Her smile activates the muscles in your face that are responsible for the smile, and the expression with a scream embarrasses you. When you meet someone you like, your eyebrows will rise, your facial muscles will relax, your head will bend, your lips will be stained with blood, and you will be a little brighter and fuller than usual. Examine your partner’s face carefully. If all of this doesn’t happen to him, the conclusions about his attitude toward you are clear.

Why do you need the ability to understand people

It can be said that you don’t need to understand the people around you, you don’t have to learn to read them like a book, because you can communicate without this information. But modern society requires communicative qualities in almost any field of activity. So you need to increase your emotional intelligence, learn to understand other people and put that knowledge into practice.

The ability to read people, like open books, helps to make conversation easier and easier, to come to terms quickly, to achieve goals. This is especially important when working with people, such a skill will be useful for every leader. When you need to achieve a certain return from your subordinates, you need to understand how to get it with the least amount of effort.

Basic rules of understanding the interlocutor

Before trying to read someone like a book, it is important to understand that we learn most of the information from the interlocutor from non-verbal cues, facial expressions, gestures. And when a person says one thing and his body position and facial expression are different, the interlocutor understands the situation in two ways. And often nonverbal cues lead to more confidence.

Another factor to remember in order to understand how to read a book as a person is to understand his needs and desires. In any conversation, any goal is achieved, every collaboration and communication leads to certain results. Understanding these goals and the desires of your interlocutor will allow you to correctly interpret all his words and feelings.

No wonder: "People are like books, and we read them." Any gesture, look, sigh, change in facial expressions can mean more than just a spoken phrase or a said thought.

The meaning of facial expressions

Most people want to know how to learn to read like a book, and the first understandable page of this “book” can be the ability to understand facial expressions. Get out of here old, it is distinguished by a complex, not by any part of the face. Indeed, often the lips are smiling, and in the eyes of evil or hatred. The main points of understanding facial expressions can be called such moments:

When a person is truly happy, he not only smiles in the corners of his lips, his cheeks also rise, and the muscles around his eyes become active.

With a feeling of disgust or hostility, the upper lip rises in a person and the skin on the forehead becomes wrinkled.

If anger arises in a person’s heart, his lips are pressed hard and his eyebrows are pulled to the center of his nose.

A sad or grieving person lowers the outer corners of the eyes as well as the lips. The view is distracting.

The eyes of a person who is afraid of something widen involuntarily and his mouth opens. Horizontal wrinkles appear on the forehead.

By remembering these simple signs, you will quickly learn how to read people and eventually succeed.

Related factors for understanding interlocutors

When trying to understand and read another person, one should take into account his or her living conditions, hobbies, marital status, health, mood, and other important factors. For example, you may often hear complaints from friends about lack of money. But when these words are heard from an unemployed lonely man, he will feel sympathy and a desire to help more than a hard worker who does not know how to allocate expenses.

It is important not only what situations have arisen in a particular person’s life, but also how they relate to them. Understanding this is a direct answer to the question of how to read people. In fact, even one believes that he can easily and carelessly overcome the lack of money, while the other gets frustrated and asks others for help and support. Therefore, it is useless to draw conclusions only from the facts, it is necessary to take into account various factors in the life of the interlocutor.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul

A person’s eyes, like any other part of the body or face, help to understand the interlocutor and find common ground with him. From the eye, you can understand a person’s mood, well-being, and even recognize him or her when he or she is telling the truth and lying. Reading with your friends and relatives is easier than reading with strangers. The eyes of a loved one are familiar and understandable, their reaction to certain words is remembered over time and can even be read by seeing the thoughts.

To understand through the eyes of a stranger, you can remember a few key signs:

When your eyes are wide open and shining, it signifies the interest and devotion of the interlocutor.

The more often a person looks around, the more interested he or she is in the environment, and the more relevant he or she is to the conversation.

If the interlocutor looks the other way, he or she does not want to talk or suggests fraud.

Blurred and narrowed students express a negative attitude towards the interlocutor or the topic of conversation.

Eyes can say a lot, and an observer can understand more than lips can say.

Ability to ask the right question

Understanding how to read people and being able to ask questions correctly is very important to find common ground with them. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you ask, but how you ask. After all, the same question can be asked in different ways.

To understand a person, you need to be interested in his or her opinion and attitude toward the situation, not just listen to dry evidence. The following questions will help:

Why did you do that?

How did you feel at that time?

What do you want to do now?

What help do you need?

To be open and understandable, a person needs to gain their trust. And this can only be done with a sincere interest in the life and well-being of your interlocutor.

Find a strong voice

Most importantly, it may not sit at the head of the table. Those with real power have strong and clear voices. Not to be confused with loud voices, which are often, on the contrary, a sign of weakness and insecurity. If you want to get your point across to a group of people, you shouldn’t just focus on people who are officially considered leaders. Listen to all of these people, find the strongest voice, work on getting his voice clearly on your side.

Take action

Self-doubtful people can be easily identified by abrupt and restless movements, hanging position, and lowering of the head. But that doesn’t mean their ideas and opinions will be rubbish. If you have such subordinates, you will probably need to try a little harder to “destroy” their ideas.

Choose a word

An idea can be expressed by one person in different ways. Someone to convey this or that idea uc pay attention to what words hun chooses, you will learn more than he knows about himself. For example, he might say, "I'm paid $ 500," or "I'm working $ 500," or "I have a $ 500 salary." In the first case, you have a passive person who is accustomed to relying on others in everything, in the second - a person with an active lifestyle, in the third - a person who loves restrictions and clear rules.

Finishing work

A detailed portrait of a person is not difficult. Just gather the answers to the following questions. Is he an introvert or an extrovert? What is more important to him - emotions or achievements? How is it related to risk and uncertainty? What feeds his ego? How does he behave under stress? And in a quiet state? If you fill in all of these points on his profile, you will no doubt come closer to understanding this person better. A good understanding leads to an effective interaction. " "Effective reading" online course. The Basics of Effective Reading - The Secrets of an Advanced Reader The secret to fast and effective reading

Start with the images depicted directly in the text and then move on from the form to the content - the ideas and meaning they convey. Imagine, your brain is a movie camera that captures everything in the form of visual images. The text of the book, as it were, becomes a scenario that describes the scene, the characters, the arousal, the action plan, and the sequential change of scenes.

1. Turn the text into mental images as you read. More specifically, keep in mind the specific situations, feelings, and moods that occurred in them. These unique images will be vivid images of the ideas they represent.

2. Pay attention to the sequence of pictures that appear during reading and their unity. Visually repeat how they appear in the text. Think about the ideas they describe.

3. Convert ideas into a coherent structure based on a sequence of images. Each of them implements one or more ideas. To distinguish the idea reflected in the picture, it is enough to express it in a single phrase (often the main idea is represented by a transition title). Learn to move from one idea to another.

4. Comment on the pictures that appear during the reading and the ideas reflected in them. Such images reflect the author’s style and personal mentality. Think about the author’s original, give your opinion on the plot and writing style of the work. (In this way you “write” the text to the emotional and intellectual registers of memory at the same time, which is most effective.)