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CHAPTER XII

The  object  of  the  campaign  was  attained,  and  Edward,  with  crosses  and

decorations,  was  honorably  dismissed.  He  betook  himself  at  once  to  the  same

little  estate,  where  he  found  exact  accounts  of  his  family  waiting  for  him,  on

whom  all  this  time,  without  their  having  observed  it  or  known  of  it,  a  sharp

watch had been kept under his orders. His quiet residence looked most sweet and

pleasant  when  he  reached  it.  In  accordance  with  his  orders,  various

improvements  had  been  made  in  his  absence,  and  what  was  wanting  to  the

establishment  in  extent,  was  compensated  by  its  internal  comforts  and

conveniences.  Edward,  accustomed  by  his  more  active  habits  of  life  to  take

decided steps, determined to execute a project which he had had sufficient time

to think over. First of all, he invited the Major to come to him. This pleasure in

meeting again was very great to both of them. The friendships of boyhood, like

relationship  of  blood,  possess  this  important  advantage,  that  mistakes  and

misunderstandings  never  produce  irreparable  injury;  and  the  old  regard  after  a

time will always reestablish itself.

Edward began with inquiring about the situation of his friend, and learnt that

fortune  had  favored  him  exactly  as  he  most  could  have  wished.  He  then  half-

seriously  asked  whether  there  was  not  something  going  forward  about  a

marriage; to which he received a most decided and positive denial.

“I cannot and will not have any reserve with you,” he proceeded. “I will tell

you at once what my own feelings are, and what I intend to do. You know my

passion  for  Ottilie;  you  must  long  have  comprehended  that  it  was  this  which

drove me into the campaign. I do not deny that I desire to be rid of a life which,

without  her,  would  be  of  no  further  value  to  me.  At  the  same  time,  however,  I

acknowledge that I could never bring myself utterly to despair. The prospect of

happiness  with  her  was  so  beautiful,  so  infinitely  charming,  that  it  was  not

possible for me entirely to renounce it. Feelings, too, which I cannot explain, and

a number of happy omens, have combined to strengthen me in the belief, in the

assurance, that Ottilie will one day be mine. The glass with our initials cut upon

it, which was thrown into the air when the foundation-stone was laid, did not go

to  pieces;  it  was  caught,  and  I  have  it  again  in  my  possession.  After  many

miserable  hours  of  uncertainty,  spent  in  this  place,  I  said  to  myself,  ‘I  will  put

myself in the place of this glass, and it shall be an omen whether our union be

possible or not. I will go; I will seek for death; not like a madman, but like a man

who  still  hopes  that  he  may  live.  Ottilie  shall  be  the  prize  for  which  I  fight.

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Ottilie  shall  be  behind  the  ranks  of  the  enemy;  in  every  intrenchment,  in  every

beleaguered fortress, I shall hope to find her, and to win her. I will do wonders,

with  the  wish  to  survive  them;  with  the  hope  to  gain  Ottilie,  not  to  lose  her.’

These feelings have led me on; they have stood by me through all dangers; and

now I find myself like one who has arrived at his goal, who has overcome every

difficulty  and  who  has  nothing  more  left  in  his  way.  Ottilie  is  mine,  and

whatever lies between the thought  and the execution of it,  I can only regard  as

unimportant.”

“With a few strokes you blot out,” replied the Major, “all the objections that

we can or ought to urge upon you, and yet they must be repeated. I must leave it

to yourself to recall the full value of your relation with your wife; but you owe it

to  her,  and  you  owe  it  to  yourself,  not  to  close  your  eyes  to  it.  How  can  I  so

much as recollect that you have had a son given to you, without acknowledging

at  once  that  you  two  belong  to  each  other  forever;  that  you  are  bound,  for  this

little creature’s sake, to live united, that united you may educate it and provide

for its future welfare?”

“It  is  no  more  than  the  blindness  of  parents,”  answered  Edward,  “when  they

imagine their existence to be of so much importance to their children. Whatever

lives,  finds  nourishment  and  finds  assistance;  and  if  the  son  who  has  early  lost

his father does not spend so easy, so favored a youth, he profits, perhaps, for that

very  reason,  in  being  trained  sooner  for  the  world,  and  comes  to  a  timely

knowledge that he must accommodate himself to others, a thing sooner or later

we  are  all  forced  to  learn.  Here,  however  even  these  considerations  are

irrelevant;  we  are  sufficiently  well  off  to  be  able  to  provide  for  more  children

than one, and it is neither right nor kind to accumulate so large a property on a

single head.”

The  Major  attempted  to  say  something  of  Charlotte’s  worth,  and  Edward’s

long-standing  attachment  to  her;  but  the  latter  hastily  interrupted  him.  “We

committed  ourselves  to  a  foolish  thing,  that  I  see  all  too  clearly.  Whoever,  in

middle  age,  attempts  to  realize  the  wishes  and  hopes  of  his  early  youth,

invariably deceives himself. Each ten years of a man’s life has its own fortunes,

its own hopes, its own desires. Woe to him who, either by circumstances or by

his  own  infatuation,  is  induced  to  grasp  at  anything  before  him  or  behind  him.

We have done a foolish thing. Are we to abide by it all our lives? Are we, from

some respect of prudence, to refuse to ourselves what the customs of the age do

not forbid? In how many matters do men recall their intentions and their actions;

and shall it not be allowed to them here, here, where the question is not of this

thing or of that, but of everything; not of our single condition of life, but of the

whole complex life itself?”

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Again  the  Major  powerfully  and  impressively  urged  on  Edward  to  consider

what he owed to his wife, what was due to his family, to the world, and to his

own position; but he could not succeed in producing the slightest impression.

“All  these  questions,  my  friend,”  he  returned,  “I  have  considered  already

again  and  again.  They  have  passed  before  me  in  the  storm  of  battle,  when  the

earth  was  shaking  with  the  thunder  of  the  cannon,  with  the  balls  singing  and

whistling  around  me,  with  my  comrades  falling  right  and  left,  my  horse  shot

under me, my hat pierced with bullets. They have floated before me by the still

watch-fire under the starry vault of the sky. I have thought them all through, felt

them all through. I have weighed them, and I have satisfied myself about them

again  and  again,  and  now  forever.  At  such  moments  why  should  I  not

acknowledge it to you? You too were in my thoughts, you too belonged to my

circle;  as,  indeed,  you  and  I  have  long  belonged  to  each  other.  If  I  have  ever

been  in  your  debt  I  am  now  in  a  position  to  repay  it  with  interest;  if  you  have

been in mine you have now the means to make it good to me. I know that you

love Charlotte, and she deserves it. I know that you are not indifferent to her, and

why should she not feel your worth? Take her at my hand and give Ottilie to me,

and we shall be the happiest beings upon the earth.”

“If you choose to assign me so high a character,” replied the Major, “it is the

more  reason  for  me  to  be  firm  and  prudent.  Whatever  there  may  be  in  this

proposal to make it attractive to me, instead of simplifying the problem, it only

increases the difficulty of it. The question is now of me as well as of you. The

fortunes, the good name, the honor of two men, hitherto unsullied with a breath,

will  be  exposed  to  hazard  by  so  strange  a  proceeding,  to  call  it  by  no  harsher

name, and we shall appear before the world in a highly questionable light.”

“Our very characters being what they are,” replied Edward, “give us a right to

take this single liberty. A man who has borne himself honorably through a whole

life,  makes  an  action  honorable  which  might  appear  ambiguous  in  others.  As

concerns myself, after these last trials which I have taken upon myself, after the

difficult  and  dangerous  actions  which  I  have  accomplished  for  others,  I  feel

entitled now to do something for myself. For you and Charlotte, that part of the

business may, if you like it, be given up; but neither you nor any one shall keep

me from doing what I have determined. If I may look for help and furtherance, I

shall  be  ready  to  do  everything  which  can  be  wished;  but  if  I  am  to  be  left  to

myself,  or  if  obstacles  are  to  be  thrown  in  my  way,  some  extremity  or  other  is

sure to follow.”

The Major thought it his duty to combat Edward’s purposes as long as it was

possible;  and  now  he  changed  the  mode  of  his  attack  and  tried  a  diversion.  He

seemed to give way, and only spoke of the form of what they would have to do

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to bring about this separation, and these new unions; and so mentioned a number

of ugly, undesirable matters, which threw Edward into the worst of tempers.

“I  see  plainly,”  he  cried  at  last,  “that  what  we  desire  can  only  be  carried  by

storm, whether it be from our enemies or from our friends. I keep clearly before

my own eyes what I demand, what, one way or another, I must have; and I will

seize it promptly and surely. Connections like ours, I know very well, cannot be

broken  up  and  reconstructed  again  without  much  being  thrown  down  which  is

standing, and much having to give way which would be glad enough to continue.

We shall come to no conclusion by thinking about it. All rights are alike to the

understanding,  and  it  is  always  easy  to  throw  extra  weight  into  the  ascending

scale. Do you makeup your mind, my friend, to act, and act promptly, for me and

for yourself. Disentangle and untie the knots, and tie them up again. Do not be

deterred from it by nice respects. We have already given the world something to

say about us. It will talk about us once more; and when we have ceased to be a

nine days’ wonder, it will forget us as it forgets everything else, and allow us to

follow  our  own  way  without  further  concern  with  us.”  The  Major  had  nothing

further  to  say,  and  was  at  last  obliged  to  sit  silent;  while  Edward  treated  the

affair  as  now  conclusively  settled,  talked  through  in  detail  all  that  had  to  be

done, and pictured the future in every most cheerful color, and then he went on

again seriously and thoughtfully: “If we think to leave ourselves to the hope, to

the  expectation,  that  all  will  go  right  again  of  itself,  that  accident  will  lead  us

straight, and take care of us, it will be a most culpable self-deception. In such a

way  it  would  be  impossible  for  us  to  save  ourselves,  or  reestablish  our  peace

again.  I  who  have  been  the  innocent  cause  of  it  all,  how  am  I  ever  to  console

myself? By my own importunity I prevailed on Charlotte to write to you to stay

with us; and Ottilie followed in consequence. We have had no more control over

what ensued out of this, but we have the power to make it innocuous; to guide

the new circumstances to our own happiness. Can you turn away your eyes from

the  fair  and  beautiful  prospects  which  I  open  to  us?  Can  you  insist  to  me,  can

you  insist  to  us  all,  on  a  wretched  renunciation  of  them?  Do  you  think  it

possible?  Is  it  possible?  Will  there  be  no  vexations,  no  bitterness,  no

inconvenience to overcome, if we resolve to fall back into our old state? and will

any good, any happiness whatever, arise out of it? Will your own rank, will the

high  position  which  you  have  earned,  be  any  pleasure  to  you,  if  you  are  to  be

prevented from visiting me, or from living with me? And after what has passed,

it  would  not  be  anything  but  painful.  Charlotte  and  I,  with  all  our  property,

would  only  find  ourselves  in  a  melancholy  state.  And  if,  like  other  men  of  the

world,  you  can  persuade  yourself  that  years  and  separation  will  eradicate  our

feelings, will obliterate impressions so deeply engraved; why, then the question

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is  of  these  very  years,  which  it  would  be  better  to  spend  in  happiness  and

comfort  than  in  pain  and  misery.  But  the  last  and  most  important  point  of  all

which  I  have  to  urge  is  this:  supposing  that  we,  our  outward  and  inward

condition being what it is, could nevertheless make up our minds to wait at all

hazards, and bear what is laid upon us, what is to become of Ottilie? She must

leave our family; she must go into society where we shall not be to care for her,

and she will be driven wretchedly to and fro in a hard, cold world. Describe to

me any situation in which Ottilie, without me, without us, could be happy, and

you  will  then  have  employed  an  argument  which  will  be  stronger  than  every

other;  and  if  I  will  not  promise  to  yield  to  it,  if  I  will  not  undertake  at  once  to

give  up  all  my  own  hopes,  I  will  at  least  reconsider  the  question,  and  see  how

what you have said will affect it.”

This  problem  was  not  so  easy  to  solve;  at  least,  no  satisfactory  answer  to  it

suggested itself to his friend, and nothing was left to him except to insist again

and again, how grave and serious, and in many senses how dangerous, the whole

undertaking was; and at least that they ought maturely to consider how they had

better enter upon it. Edward agreed to this, and consented to wait before he took

any steps; but only under the condition that his friend should not leave him until

they  had  come  to  a  perfect  understanding  about  it,  and  until  the  first  measures

had been taken.

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