Copyright 2001, Colin C. Tipping

 
has
willed him or her to be for you.
22.
A Note To Myself
I recognize that I am a spiritual being having a human
experience, and I love and support myself in every
aspect of my humanness.
22.
Remember, all forgiveness starts as a lie. You be-
gin the process without forgiveness in your heart, and
you fake it until you make it.
So, honor yourself for
doing it and yet be gentle with yourself, and let the for-
giveness process take as long as you need. Be pa-
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tient with yourself. Acknowledge yourself for the cour-
age it takes simply to attempt completing the Forgive-
ness Worksheet, for you truly face your demons in the
process. Doing this work takes enormous courage,
willingness, and faith.
21: Collapsing the Story
T
he story is where the pain resides. It is what
we write in Box #1 of the worksheet to com-
plete the sentence 
‘The situation as I see it now
is....’
Since it appears to be the source of all our pain and
discomfort, it is worth turning the spotlight on our victim
story to see the extent to which it is real and whether
holding on to the pain is justified. We might find that
there’s very little in it that is actually true. We might find
that it is just a story we have created to keep us stuck
in separation in order to reinforce our belief that we
are not all One. It might also be that we have created
this story to give us clues as to what we might be need-
ing to heal (forgive) within ourselves so that we can come
to the realization that we are indeed all One.
Obviously it is this last possibility to which Radical For-
giveness gives attention, for it is our belief that the very
purpose of the story — and of course the role of all the
players within it — is to highlight and bring to conscious
awareness that which needs healing. It is in the dis-
mantling of the story that we find our opportunity to learn
the real truth about ourselves and to remember who we
really are.
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In the process of tracing back how the story got formed
we can usually see how a false negative core belief
was first created, then repressed, and subsequently
made active in the subconscious mind such that it would
continue to create circumstances to reinforce itself. This
is what happened to Jill. (see Chapter One). Her un-
conscious core belief was, “I’m not good enough for
any man,” and she lived it out. Once we collapsed the
story and she saw that it was not true, she healed the
core belief and everything worked out.
These core beliefs usually form when we are very young.
When something happens to us, we interpret that ex-
perience and give personal meaning to the situation.
Then, we confuse what really happened with our inter-
pretation of what happened. The story we 
make up
based on that mixture of fact and fiction becomes our
truth and an operating principle in our lives.
For example, let’s say our father leaves home when we
are five years old. For us, this event is traumatic and pain-
ful, but in our mind that is only the beginning of our story.
At that age we think the world revolves around us so we
can only see it from that egocentric point of view. So we
make our own interpretations based on that viewpoint.
Our first interpretation is that 
he left ME!
After that come
many more that expand the story egocentrically, such as:
“It must be my fault. I must have done something to
drive him away. He doesn’t love me any more. Maybe
he never did. I must be a very unlovable person if my
father would leave me. He can’t care about me and if he
doesn’t care about me, who will? I guess if he doesn’t
love me nobody will love me, and even if they do they
are sure to leave me after five years because that’s the
way things are with men who say they love you. You
can’t really trust men who say they love you because
they are bound to leave after 5 years anyway. I am just
not very lovable. I will never have a relationship that will
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