31 THE DAY AFTER
I got a '69 Chevy with a 396,
Feully heads and a Hurst on the floor,
She's waitin tonight
Down in the parking-lot
Outside the 7-11 store…
— Bruce Springsteen
Arnie Cunningham did not go to school the next day. He said he thought he
might be coming down with the flu. But that evening he told his parents that
he felt enough improved to go down to Darnell's and do some work on
Christine.
Regina protested—although she did not come right out and say so, she
thought Arnie looked like death warmed over. His face was now entirely free
of acne and blemishes, but there was a trade-off: it was much too pale, and
there were dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't been sleeping. In
addition, he was still limping. She wondered uneasily if her son could be
using some sort of drug, if perhaps he had hurt his back worse than he had let
on and had started taking pills so he could go on working on the goddamned
car. Then she dismissed the thought. Obsessed as he might be with the car,
Arnie could not be that stupid.
"I'm really fine, Mom," he said.
"You don't look fine. And you hardly touched your supper."
"I'll get some chow later on."
"How's your back? You're not lifting a lot of heavy stuff down there, are
you?"
"No, Mom." This was a lie. And his back had hurt terribly all day long. This
was the worst it had been since the original injury at Philly Plains (
oh, was
that where it started?
His mind whispered,
oh really? Are you sure?
). He
had taken the brace off for a while, and his back had throbbed fit to kill him.
He had put it on again after only fifteen minutes, cinching it tighter than ever.
Now his back really was a little better. And he knew why. He was going to
her. That was why.
Regina looked at him, worried and at a loss. For the first time in her life she
simply did not know how to proceed. Arnie was beyond her control now.
Knowing it brought on a horrible feeling of despair that sometimes crept up
on her and filled her brain with an awful, empty, rotten coldness. At these
times a depression so total she could barely credit it would steal through her,
making her wonder exactly what it was she had lived her life for—so her son
could fall in love with a girl and a car all in the same terrible fall? Was that
it? So she could see exactly how hateful to him she had become when she
looked in his gray eyes? Was that it? And it really didn't have anything to do
with the girl at all, did it? No. In her mind, it always came back to the car.
Her rest had become broken and uneasy, and for the first time since her
miscarriage nearly twenty years before, she had found herself considering
making an appointment with Dr Mascia to see if he would give her some pill
for the stress and the depression and the attendant insomnia. She thought
about Arnie on her long sleepless nights, and about mistakes that could never
be rectified; she thought about how time had a way of swinging the balance
of power on its axis, and how old age had a way of sometimes looking
through a dressing-table mirror like the hand of a corpse poking through
eroded earth.
"Will you be back early?" she asked, knowing this was the last breastwork of
the truly powerless parent, hating it, unable—now—to change it.
"Sure," he said, but she didn't much trust the way he said it.
"Arnie, I wish you'd stay home. You really don't look good at all."
"I'll be fine," he said. "Got to be. I have to run some auto parts over to
Jamesburg for Will tomorrow."
"Not if you're sick," she said. "That's nearly a hundred and fifty miles."
"Don't worry." He kissed her cheek—the passionless kiss-on-the-cheek-of
cocktail-party acquaintances.
He was opening the kitchen door to go out when Regina asked, "Did you
know the boy who was run down last night on Kennedy Drive?"
He turned back to look at her, his face expressionless. "What?"
"The paper said he went to Libertyville.
"Oh, the hit-and-run… that's what you're talking about."
"Yes."
"I had a class with him when I was a freshman," Arnie said. "I think. No, I
really didn't know him, Mom."
"Oh." She nodded, pleased. "That's good. The paper said there were residues
of drugs in his system. You'd never take drugs, would you, Arnie?"
Arnie smiled gently at her pallid, watchful face. "No, Mom," he said.
"And if your back started to hurt you—I mean, if it
really
started to hurt you
—you'd go see Dr Mascia about it, wouldn't you? You wouldn't buy anything
from a… a drug-pusher, would you?"
"No, Mom," he repeated, and went out.
There had been more snow. Another thaw had melted most of it, but this time
it had not disappeared completely; it had only withdrawn into the shadows,
where it formed a white rime under hedges, the bases of trees, the overhang
of the garage. But in spite of the snow around the edges—or maybe because
of it—their lawn looked oddly green as Arnie stepped out into the twilight,
and his father looked like a strange refugee from summer as he raked the last
of the autumn leaves.
Arnie raised his hand briefly to his father and made as if to go past without
speaking. Michael called him over. Arnie went reluctantly He didn't want to
be late for his bus.
His father had also aged in the storms that had blown up over Christine,
although other things had undoubtedly played a part. He had made a bid for
the chairmanship of the History Department at Horlicks late in the summer
and had been rebuffed quite soundly. And during his annual October checkup,
the doctor had pointed out an incipient phlebitis problem—phlebitis, which
had nearly killed Nixon; phlebitis, an old folks' problem. As that late fall
moved toward another gray western-Pennsylvania winter, Michael
Cunningham looked gloomier than ever.
"Hi, Dad. Listen, I've got to hurry if I'm going to catch—"
Michael looked up from the little pile of frozen brown leaves he had
managed to get together; the sunset caught the planes of his face and appeared
to make them bleed. Arnie stepped back involuntarily, a little shocked. His
father's face was haggard.
"Arnold," he said, "where were you last night?"
"What—?" Arnie gaped, then closed his mouth slowly. "Why, here. Here,
Dad. You know that."
"All night?"
"Of course. I went to bed at ten o'clock. I was bushed. Why?"
"Because I had a call from the police today," Michael said. "About that boy
who was run over on JFK Drive last night."
"Moochie Welch," Arnie said. He looked at his father with calm eyes that
were deeply circled and socketed for all their calmness. If the son had been
shocked by the father's appearance, the father was also dully shocked by his
son's to Michael, the boy's eyesockets looked nearly like a skull's vacant
orbs in the failing light.
"The last name was Welch, yes."
"They would be in touch. I suppose. Mom doesn't know—that he might have
been one of the guys that trashed Christine?"
"Not from me."
I didn't tell her either. I'd be glad if she didn't find that out," Arnie said.
"She may find it out eventually," Michael said. "In fact, she almost certainly
will. She's an extremely intelligent woman, in case you've never noticed. But
she won't find it out from me."
Arnie nodded, then smiled humorlessly. ""Where were you last night?" Your
trust is touching, Dad."
Michael flushed, but his eyes didn't drop. "Maybe if you'd been standing
outside yourself these last couple of months," he said, "you'd understand why
I asked."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"You know damn well. It hardly even bears discussing anymore. We just go
around and around the same old mulberry bush. Your entire life is jittering
apart and you stand there and ask me what I'm talking about."
Arnie laughed. It was a hard, contemptuous sound. Michael seemed to shrivel
a little before it. "Mom asked me if I was on drugs. Maybe you want to check
that one out, too." Arnie made as if to push up the sleeves of his warmup
jacket. "Want to check for needle-tracks?"
"I don't need to ask if you're on drugs," Michael said. "You're only on one I
know of, and that's enough. It's that goddam car."
Arnie turned as if to go, and Michael pulled him back.
"Get your hand off my arm."
Michael dropped his hand. "I wanted you to be aware," he said. "I no more
think you'd kill someone than I think you could walk across the Symonds'
swimming pool. But the police are going to question you, Arnie, and people
can look surprised when the police turn up suddenly. To them, surprise can
look like guilt."
"All of this because some drunk ran over that shitter Welch?"
It wasn't like that," Michael said. "I got that much out of this fellow Junkins
who called me up on the phone. Whoever killed the Welch boy ran him down
and then backed over him and ran over him again and backed up
again
and
—"
"Stop it," Arnie said He suddenly looked sick and frightened, and Michael
had much the same feeling Dennis had had on Thanksgiving evening: that in
this tired unhappiness the real Arnie was suddenly close to the surface,
perhaps reachable.
"It was…hjnncd incredibly brutal," Michael said. "That's what Junkins said.
You see, it doesn't look like an accident at all. It looks like murder."
"Murder," Arnie said, dazed. "No, I never—"
"What?" Michael asked sharply. He grabbed Arnie's jacket again. "What did
you say?"
Arnie looked at his father. His face was masklike again. "I never thought it
could be that," he said. "That's all I was going to say."
"I just wanted you to know," he said. "They'll be looking for someone with a
motive, no matter how thin. They know what happened to your car, and that
the Welch boy might have been involved, or that you might
think
he was
involved. Junkins may be around to talk to you."
"I don't have anything to hide."
"No, of course not," Michael said. "You'll miss your bus."
"Yeah," Arnie said. "Gotta go." But he stayed a moment longer, looking at his
father.
Michael suddenly found himself thinking of Arnie's ninth birthday. He and his
son had gone to the little zoo in Philly Plains, had eaten lunch out, and had
finished the day by playing eighteen holes at the indoor miniature golf course
on outer Basin Drive. That place had burned down in 1975. Regina had not
been able to come, she had been flat on her back with bronchitis. The two of
them had had a fine time. For Michael, that had been his son's best birthday,
the one that symbolized for him above all others his son's sweet and
uneventful American boyhood. They had gone to the zoo and come back and
nothing much had happened except that they had had a great time—Michael
and his son, who had been and who still was so dear to him.
He wet his lips and said, "Sell her, Arnie, why don't you? When she's
completely restored, sell her away. You could get a lot of money. A couple—
three thousand, maybe."
Again that frightened, tired look seemed to sweep over Arnie's face, but
Michael couldn't tell for sure. The sunset had faded to a bitter orange line on
the western horizon, and the little yard was dark. Then the look—if it had
been there at all—went away.
"No, I couldn't do that, Dad," Arnie said gently, as if speaking to a child. "I
couldn't do that now. I've put too much into her. Way too much."
And then he was gone, cutting across the, yard to the sidewalk, joining the
other shadows, and there was only the sound of his footfalls coming back,
soon lost.
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