Child Education in Islam

them following the instructions of the Prophet ~ who made their

rights incumbent on people. and their merits known to the society.

Among his instructions $; for dignifying old people:

At-Tirmidhi quoted Anas .. as saying that Allah's Messenger

3 said, 'Any )I

auigru for him someone 10 honor him when he i.T old."

Abu Dawi'id and At-Tirmidhi quoted 'Amr Ibn Shu'ayb who

quoted his father and granrather that Allah's Messenger 3 said,

"He who does no/ Iw~e mercy On our young people and acknowledge

the right of our old people does nOI belong 10 us."

Abu D;iwlld quoted 'A.ishah 0;3!. as saying that AlI'-ih's

Messenger said, "Keep 10 everyone hi.! due pO$ilion." From these

Instructions or lIadilhs we conclude:

a, To assign a proper position to an elderly person, Ihal is, to

consult him in matters, give him a prominent position in meetings,

and start with him in offering hospitality.

b. To start with the eldest in everything, that is, to give him priority

In leading prayers, in lalking to people, and in taking and giving.

What supports this is what Muslim related quoting Ibn 'Umar 4,;.

as saying that the Prophet $. said, "l .... as clean;IIg my teeth ... ith a

siwiik, ;11 a dream, twa people came to me. olle of them ;$ older thull

the other, alld l gave the siwak to Ihe younger one. l was laid to give

il 10 Ihe alder, so l gal'l! it 10 him."

c, Admonishing the young to not show disrespect 10 Ihe elderly

such as mocking or deriding him, or misbehaving in his presence,

since At."[abanini reiated In his book "AI·Kubir" quoting Abu

Umamah as saying that Alliih's Messenger $ said, 'Three groups

of people are nOI derided except by a hypocrite: elderly Muslims,

knowledgeable people, and a fair Imlim," From these meaning.s of

honoring elde rly peopte come some virtues and manners, which the

educators must bring up their children on, sticking 10 them and

command them to abide by them:

I. Shyness, which urges abandoning shamdul behavior, and

prevents misbehaving towards elderly people. Sons of the

Prophet's Companions used 10 act accordingly in the presence

of people older in age or higher in rank, Al-Bukhiiri and Muslim

quoled Abu Sa'id '*' as saying: "At the time of the ProphCllj: I

was a young boy, and I memorized a lot of his sayings, but what

used to prevent me from narrating what I memorize was the

presence of men older than me,"

2. Rising up for new--(:omers: rising up for a coming elderly man,

scholar, guest, or traveler is a social conduct that must be taught

to young children, based on the following evidence: AI· Bukhari,

Abu Dawud, and At·Tinnidhi related that 'Aishah" said, "I

have not seen anyone more similar to figure and character of the

Prophet 3 than his daughter Fahmah, in all her movements.

Whenever she came to him. he rose for her, kissed her, and

seated her in his seat. And whenever he went to her, she rose for

him, kissed him. and seated him in her seat." AI-lJu~~ari and

Muslim narrated that when Sa'd Ibn Mu'az approached the

mosque, the Prophet l\t said to AI-Ansar, "Rise up lor your

masler. or Ihe bes/ 0/ you." AI-BukhIiri and Muslim also

na/rated in the story of Ka'b Ibn Malik. when he remained

behind and did not participate in the battle of Tabuk, on the

occasion of AII:ih accepting his repentance, that he s.1id, "The

people came to me group after group to congratulate me. And

when I entered the mosque, the Prophet was sitting tbere

surrounded by people. Talha Ibn Ubaydullah hurried to me to

shake my hands and congratulate me."' Scholars concluded from

these hudillrs and others that it is permissible to rise for seholars

and virtuous people. On the other hand , what was related about

the Prophet ~ fo rbidding rising up for people is intended to

mean not to rise up for people who like others to rise up for

them. and look forward to it, or not to show glorilication, as

somc people used to do for glorifying their heads by rai sing fOT

them while they were sitting.

3. Kissing old people's h~LIlds: among the manners that should be

taught to young children is to kiss old people's h,mds, since it

has a great effcct ;n teaching him how to be modest and

respectful, and to acknowledge others' due positions. However,

educators mUSI lake two important things into oon~ideration in

teachmg children such mannars:

First, they should not exaggerate in teaching these manners, since

c ~aggerati on ;s against the nature of things, and may destroy the

child's personality.

The Reoporu.ibihty for Soc>aI .:.1"",,1;'" ===========~ 163

Second: they should not go far beyond legitimalc limits, such as

bowing during rising or kneeling during kissing.

These are thc most important principles I!lid down by Islam for

ob!lerving other peoplc's right s. So the educaton must inculcate

these principles into their children in order that they may grow up

caring for and respect ing elderly people, and may undcntand from

their very early days the rights of those who arc older than them,

and the merits of those who arc of more knowledge, higher rank.

and grcater virtue.

3. Adhering to General Social Manners

Among the principles laid down by Islam related to educating

children is to familiarize them with social manners from their very

early years, and habituate them to some important educational

principles. Among these principles are:

I. The manners of eating and drinking

2. The m~nners of greeting

3. The m~nners of asking pennission

4. The manners of meetings

5. The manners of conversation

6. The manners of jestmg

7. The manners of congratulating

8. The manners of visiting patients

9. The manners of giv ing condolences

10, The mallilers of sneezing and yawning

With Allah's help, 1 shall deal with cach one of these social

manners in some detail, in order thai educators may inculcate them

into the minds of children.

I. The Manners of • .:a ting and Drinking

The educator must teach his children certain manners relat ing to

eating, and guide them to practice them, and observe them. These

manners in order arc:

II. Washing hands before and after eating: AbiJ.-Oawiid and AtTinnidhi

quoted &!lman Al-Farisi 4';. as saying that A\Lahs

Messenger e said, "The blessing 0/ food is 10 have ablulion

before and a/ler if."

b. Mentioning Allah's name at the beginning and thanking Him at

the end: Abu Dawiid and At-Tinnidhi related that 'Aishah ~

T1>< Rc.po.wbihty for Social FAuc.tion ===========~ 165

said that Allah's Messenger G: said, " Whellner Olle of )'011 eO/s,

11'1 him memioll Ihe Nallle of Ihe Almighly_ {n case he forgol 10

lIIelll ioll il al Ihe beginning, /1'1 him say: 'in Ihe Nllme of AI/tih in

Ihe firST lind Ihe /asl ." ImAm Ahmad narrated that every time the

Prophet #- ate or drank, he used to say, " Praise be /0 A/fllh, who

gave liS food IIl1d drink, 11111/ made 1i.1 Mus/ims ."

c, Not to look down upon any food presented to him: AI·Bu~ari

and Muslim re lated that Abu Hurairah '*' said, " Allah's

Messenger 3: has never belittled any food; if he liked it, he

ate it, and if he did not like iI, he left iI"

d. To cat with his right hand from the dishes Immediately in front

of him: Muslim related that 'Umar Ibn Abu Salamah .t;-.. said, "I

was a young boy sitting in the lap of Alhlh's Messenger 3"

dipping my hand everywhere in the dish, so, Al1:ih's Messenger

oit said to me, '0 youllg boy, menlion/he Name of A/liih, em wilh

yOllr right haml, and eat of the neares/ food 10 you,"

c, Not to e;lt while recl ining: AI.llu~I~5ri quoted Abu Ju~ ayn;.h

Wahb Ibn Abdullah as saying that Al[;ih's Messenger $: said, "/

never eal reclining,"

r. Recommending talking while eating: it was narrated that the

Prophet 3: ILSed to talk to his Companions while they were

eating on more than one occasion,

g, Recommeding mvoking fo r the h05t after eating: Abil·D5wild

and At·Tirmid hi quoted Anus. as saying that the Prophet ~

went to Sa'd Jbn ' Ubl.duh, so, Sa'd presented bread and oil, and

the Prophet $ ate and then said, "May faslillg people break

their fo.I/ in yOllr house, and may benjgn people eat of yOllr f ood,

and may angels pray for benediction On YOll,"

h, Not to start eating before older peoplc: M llslim related that

Hudhaifah . sa id, "We used, in case we were with the Prophet

li: to not start eating before he startcd,"

l66i ",========================================= p.nTwo

i. Not 10 belittle the bounty: Muslim related that Anas ~ said,

Ihe Prophet ~ used 10 lick hl~ three fingers when he ate and

say 'if a piece of bnad dropped from allY of you, lei him pick it

up. clean ii, eal il. and IIHer leare il /0 Sawn', and commanded

us to wipe clean the food conlumer and said, 'you do not know

where in your food the blessing IS.' As for the manneN; of

drinkin g, they arc:

1, Recommending mentioning Alliih's Name and drinking in

three in tervals: At-Tirmidhi quoted Ibn Abbiis '*' as saying that

Allah's Messenger said, "Do no/ have all your drink in 0/1£ gulp as

camels do, but have it in '1<'0 or th,ee , and melllion Allah's Name

when you drink, and praire lIim when you fin ish."

2. Not to drink directly from the opening of a water container:

AI - Bu~~"i ri and Muslim related that Abu Hurairah .. said,

"Alhih's Messenger admonished us not to drink rrom the mouth

or a water container.

3. Not to breathe into the drink: At-Tinnidhi related that Ibn

Abbas ... said that the Prophet 3: forbade breatbing into the

drink or puffing into it.

4. Ret:ommending eating and drinking while sitting: Muslim

related that Anas"" said that the Prophet ~ forbade drinking

while standing. Qatiidah said, "We asked Anas about eating,

and he said, it is even worse. (What was na rrated that the

Prophet e drank while standing, was to show that it is

permissible).

5. Forbidding drinking from a gold or silver vessel: Al- Bu~~ iiri

and Muslim related that Umm Salamah $ said that Alliih's

Messenger said, "'lfe who drinks f rom a silver C(mlai~r. !W"rs

Hellfire into his slOmach."

6. Forbidding filling one's stom ~ ch with food or drink: Ahmad,

AI-Ti rmidhi and others related that Allah's Messenger ~ said,

11>< Resp<>nsibility fOf Soci.1 F.J ocot ion 167

"Tile lIuman being lta.~ lIever filled 0 ('o" laill('r ,..0"-1.' /1111/1 !.is

s/omocll. II is qlliie sufficient for a"y humall beill{.: 10 ~a/ a I;II /e

food Ihal helps him do his /asks. 1/ he could 1101 help ealing, he

sho,,1d jill 0111.' Ihird of his slOmach .... illt forxi, one lhird 10 drink,

lind one-Ihird for bre(JI/tiIlK." So educators must adhere to these

principles, and teach them to their children.

2. Tile Manners of GreN;ng

Grecting has certain manners, which educators must instill 111

the child and get him acquainted wIth them. They arc g,ven m

order a~ follows:

a, To teach him that religion commanded us to greet one another,

acco rding to Allah's saying,

"0 you ,,-ho bl'liae! Ente, "Of houses arher than )'our 0 ... ", u"lif

yau Ir(H~ IlJked permission a"d greeted fhOfe ill Ihem" (An·Ni", 21)

and also according to H l~ saying,

.I. t, ~, .J '1", ~ " 1 i"~ ;; .. ~, ~" (I'l..

"t "'J J J 'M ~ ~ . -_ , r-r ,.., T

"Whe" you are greeted "'itlr a g,uli"g, Kud in utur" "'ith ,,'hal is

IHtI~r lira" iI, or (at leas/) r~/ur" it equally." (An_Ni$3, 86)

The Prophet ~ instructed people to greet each other~ A l-Bu~~ firi

and Muslim related that 'Abdullah Ibn 'Amr Ibn 'As that a man

asked Allah's Messenger: "Which act of Isl;lm is the best? The

Prophet sa id. "To offer food. ond 10 greel whomsoever you know

or do 1101 kno .... '" Mu ~lim also related that Abu Huraimh.:o. said

that Allah's Messenger said. "You ... iIl nOI enter Paradi,~e umil

you believe, ol1d yo" ... iII nOI believe umil you love each Olher. May

f tell YOIl somClltillg, ,,'hiet. if YOIl do ii, yolt ... iII/m'e eaeh mller?

Keep t'xcllollging greelings amongst yo"."

b. To tcach him how to gred: that is, to say, Assolaamu 'alllikwlI

... 11 rohmll/"lI11hi wa barakowh (peace, mercy, and blessings of

168 ~========================================"F\o~TWQ

Alhih be upon you), and reply by saying, wo aillikum assail/am

wa rahma/lliloh wa barak{./"h. (And upon you be the peace,

mercy, and blessings of A1Jii h) in the plural form, even if the

addressee was a single person.

c. To teach him the manners of greeling: that is, riders greet

walke rs, walkers greet sitters, small groups greet larger groups,

and the young greel the old.

d. To forbid him \0 greet people In a manner that COpies the

disbelievers: At-Tirmidhi quoted 'Amr Ibn Shu'ayb, quoting

his falher, who, in turn, quoted his father as saying that the

Prophet ~ said, "He does n(J/ belong 10 liS ,hal who imi/ales

(he di.lbelievers. Ne~cr imila/e Ihe Jews or Christians. The Jews

greet by pointing wilh fingers. lind the Chri5liom with Ihe palm

oj/heir hand •. "

c. Educators must take the ini tiative in greeting young people: AIBu~~

iiri and Muslim related that Anas 4;0 said that he passed by

some young boys, and greeted them, and said that the Prophet

3> used to do so.

f. To teach him to answer the greetings of non-Muslims by saying,

wa alaikum (and upon you). Al- Bu ~~ari and Muslim quoted

Anas'" as saying that AlI iih's Messenger said, "J/lhe people 0/

Ihe Book grce/ed you, you say, .... a alaikum fund upon you) . He

also must teach him not to initiate disbelievers with greetings,

since MU$lim narrated a Hod;I" that says, " Do no/ JI011 Jews or

ChrisliollS wilh greelings."

g. To teach him that greeting people is a Sunnah, but answering the

greeting is wdjib (compulsory): AlIiih !b says,

.I. ,'. ~ .~ ~ ;I: '.go -J,( I, t.~, .~ ,..., ~ ~.\ i4 ~< -<: ~., I~'~:"

"{ __ W"' ~ IT " ". " ~ ~ 'M;r- "... ~ (+t" v."

"Whm you Qre greeled ,.,ilh Q grafi"g, greet ill re/ur" "'ilh wllat is

belfer lha" it, 01' (at {eQs/) retu,n it equal/y. C"rtllillfy, Allill is

169

Erer a Carejul Account Taker of all t"ings." (An-NilKl, S6)

The educator must teach his charge that there are some cases

where greeting is reprehensible, such as greeting a man during

ablution Of in the bathroom, eat ing, reci ting the Qur'iin, celebrating

Alliih's prnises, saying IalbiYllh during Pilgrimage, giving a lumll'ail

sennon or any olher sermon, giving a religious lesson in a mosque

or elsewhere, caning for prayer or making the second call, as well as

similar situatio ns. So, educators must abide by Ihc Islamic

teachings, and teach them to their children in order to get them

acquainted with them in their social life , and in dealing with others_

3. Manners of Asking Permission

There are certain manners for asking permIssion, which

educators must teach their children foll owing Allah's saying,

.p ;. ~; .!.1 "h p:ii!;±.: j :J~ :.t,-·! 3J; :Ji ;t.Fl i;X ~~[ ~h; "

- ~d -."" ..../ " '/ -" ' ,. - y,; .... -' ' ' ' ' --.. --

~ r y:.T ~ .~, ~ :!--! ........ ~I .;: ,..;;~ ~ ~ ~I .t>I---

.'....:..., 'i 'r~ ~-\i ,-{,<-.'. "'"'!'. ::6~' ~ i,Y{c' ," ... ~.:. ~Y."I' ",'.-.,''..:~!,

~~~j:i~

"0 you "ho be/ieu! Let ),our legal sla"lIs and slare-gir/s. and

thou among you I<'ho hllve not come to the aKe of puberty ask you~

!Urmiss;on (before they fOme 10 ),our preunce) on thru occtl..ions,·

befoTt Fajr (morning) prayer, and K'hi/e )'ou pul off your clothes for

the noondu)' (rtst), and afte~ the 'JIha (late-niKht) prayer. (These)

Ihree limes are of privafY for ),ou, olhu Ihan /IUS I' limes there is no

sin on you or on them to mo"e abolll, aI/ending (helping) eath olher.

ThllJ AINih makts clear the Ayul (the .erUJ of Ihis Qur'an, shoK'ing

proofs for Iht Il/(ol ospeclS of permis.<;on for "iJils. ele.) 10 ,"au. And

Alhih is Af/·Knowin/(, All-Wist. And when Ihe children among you

come 10 puberty, Ihen It t Ihem ( a/so) ask for permils;on, as lhose

u nior 10 Ihem (in age). Thus AlNih mokts clear 11;.0 Ayal

(Commondmen ls und legal ob/igalions) for YOIi. And Alliih is AII1

70 =o======================================~ ~r1 TWQ

KnOl.,';ng, All-Wise." (An·NUT, 58·59)

Allah iii commands the cducatonl to guide their children, who

have not yet reached puberty, lO ask permission in three cases:

Fi rst: before the dawn prayer, because re

normally in bcd.

Second: during mid·day, since a man may lay aside his clothes with

his wife.

Third: after the evening prayer, since It is a time of rest and sleep.

Asking permission had been ordained during thesc three times

lest the husband and wife should be m a Slate which they dislike

any of their children to !.eC them in. When the children reach the

age of puberty, they must ask permission these three times and

others, following Allah's saying,

;: :'!!} ~ 6Jr ;',,:' -1 G... ijPi ~I ~ J.iit;i ~ Gr. t

"And when the children among )'011 "ome to puberry, then let tlu!m

( also) {lsk / or permission, tu Ihost senior 10 Ihtm in IIgt" (An.Nur, 59)

Asking permission has some other manners which arc given as

follows:

· To greet then ask permission.

· To announce one's name, nickname, or identity.

· To ask permission three times, and it is favorable to have an

inlerval belween them, simitar in length, in the time taken 10

pray four rak'ahs, lest tile one who is being asked permiSSIOn

should be praying or in the bathroom.

· Not to knock at the door loudly.

· To stand at Ihe side of the door when asking permission. test a

woman should be there when the door is opened, since asking

permission was ordained for avoiding looking !It the household.

• To return in case he is asked to return, following Allj,h's saying,

~~Jjj;~t~i'~-44'

"And if you ure asked 10 go huck, go huck,for il is purer for you ... "

(An· NUT, 28)

The one who is asking permission must not sce any harm in

doing so, since he is following, in this case, AlJii.h's instructions to

return. These are the most important principles laid down by Islam

relating to the manners of asking permibsion. Educators must

abide by them and raise their children to follow them.

4. The Manners of Meetings (Social Gatherings)

Meetings have certain manners which the educator must teach

to the child and guide him to fo llow. They are given in order as

follows:

· To shake hands with other people in the meeting: At·Tirmidhi

Ibn Majah and others related that AI·Baril. iJ';, said that Allah's

Messenger 3: said, "AIry / 1<'0 Muslims who meet Wid shake haml!;,

AlIiih wi!! surely forgive their sins before they pari. "

· To sit in the place assigned for him by the host, because the host

knows better the proper place for his guest.

· To sit ne:

their midst, he will give his back to some of them, which may

hurl lhcm.

· Not to sit between two people unless they permit him to do so.

· The neW comer must sit in the nearest place to him, but in case he

is a scholar or of a prominent position, it is no harm for the

guests or the host to scal him in the proper place for him, since

the Prophet it said, "Pili each one ill Ihe proper pface for him."

· No two people may confer privately in the presence of a thIrd

person. The reason is that the thi rd person may have bad

thoughts and become sad for being ignored. But it is permissible

for two people to confer privately in the presence of another two

or more, if it does does not cause any suspicion.

- A person who leaves his place for some urgent reason is entit led

to return to it when he returns.

- He must aslr:: permi$~ion before leaving the place.

- To recite the invocation of leaving the place: AI-I,Hikim related

that Abu Barzah. said, "The Messenger of AlIiih used to, say

whenever he wanted to leave a meeting, ·J'ubhanaka Al/iilmmma

wa bihamdika ashhadu an fa ilaha ilia An/a, aslaghfiruka wa

ataobu illlik (Glory be 10 yeu Allah and praise be 10 you. [bear

wilness thai there is no ged bUi you. [ ask YOll' forgiveness (lJJd

,epen! 10 You) . A man said, '0 Messenger of Alliih, you say

something you haven·t said before. The Prophet said, ··[1 is an

expiation for whal might how: taken place during Ihe meeling."

These are the most important principles laid down by Islam

concerning the manners of social gatherings. So educators must

adhere to them, and teach them to their children.

5. The Manners or Conversation

Among the important social manners to which educators must

pay attention to is aquainting the child, from his very early years,

to the manners, style, and principles of conversation. Here we

mention some of these manners in order:

- To talk in standard Arabic, since it is the language of the Noble

Qur'iin, and the language of the best man to speak it, i.e.

Muhammad #. It is unfair to turn our backs on it, and usc a

colloquial dialect which has no relation to it at all.

To speak slowly so that the listener can understand what the

speaker means, and those in the gathering can comprehend the

message of his speech and think about it.

_ Not to exaggerate in cloqueney: Abu D5wud and At-Tirmidhi

related that Ibn 'UmH';' said that AIl,lh', Me,senger 3 sa id,

"Allah I/islikes he I<'ho exaggeralcs illl'/oqrwllcy, he who does wilh

his longue (I!J c'ows do."

- To usc a style ofspet:ch that suit, the addressees and suitable for

their age and mentality.

_ To talk about a subjecl Ihal is not boring or improper, so that It

may be attractive and mteresting to the audience.

_ Among the manners ofconverS

speaker.

_ The speaker should look at everyone m the audience, so that each

one of them feels thatlhe speaker cares about him.

_ To interact with the audience during and after the speech, so that

they may not bct:omc bored or tired.

These are the most important principles laid down by Islam

concerning the manners of conversation, Educators must adopt

them, teach them to their children, lInd rear them 10 follow them.