Cambridge Grammar of English Hardback with cd-rom a comprehensive Guide

Speech act verbs and politeness

422b

In general, in conversation, in situations where threats to the listener’s dignity and 

self-esteem are high, speakers avoid explicit labelling of speech acts. Verbs such as disagree,

forbid, refuse, reproach, accuse

in unmodified form are rare as performative speech act

verbs; most typically they occur to report speech acts, or are softened and modified in some

way. For instance, the clause I disagree with you only occurs once (in a formal discussion 

at a meeting) in a 15-million-word sample of spoken English. 

Examples with disagree show how speakers are careful to avoid direct challenges to the

listener’s face. Many utterances express disagreement with a non-present third party, or

with a proposition or argument, thereby making the act of disagreement more impersonal.

Others downtone or hedge the disagreement:

I would disagree a huge amount.

(use of modal verb as hedge)

Well I completely 

disagree with that.

(disagreeing with an idea or proposition rather than with the speaker)

But what I 

disagree with, well to a degree, is that at school they don’t teach them the

basics any more.

(downtoning the disagreement)

I, I would have to, I’d have to disagree with my colleague here.

(modal verb hedge plus suggestion of the act not being the speaker’s preferred response)

I hate to disagree with you, Peter.

(expressing reluctance at having to disagree)

These same principles of modification apply to other speech act verbs (e.g. I hate to

complain, but …; I would ask you to make less noise; I’m sorry but I have to object to what

you’re proposing

; I regret to inform you that …; I must admit that …; I would insist that …).