|
3. GET RID OF YOUR STORIES
Once you know what the beast looks like, you can slay it. Take your list of
“can’ts” and “shoulds” and “I nevers,” etc., and write stream of consciousness
in a journal (see example below), and really feel in your body what you’re
getting from these old limiting beliefs such as: “I feel special, I feel safe, I get
to live with my parents and never get a job,” etc. Make a list of these false
rewards. Really push yourself to get them all on to the page. Then feel the
attention the specialness or the comfort or the safety or whatever your trip is
and really become clear on it. Catch yourself fully in the act and feel it all the
way through.
Now look at your list of false rewards for what they really are: scared little
parts of yourself acting out. Thank them for trying to protect you and for
keeping you company, but tell them it’s time to run along now.
Then, replace the feelings you got from these false rewards with the feelings
of joy and power and excitement that stepping into who you truly are and who
you’re now becoming will bring.
Imagine that childish version of yourself leaving your body and the
powerful adult stepping in. Breathe in the adult; breathe out the kid and the old
story. It’s like finally taking the keys to the Ferrari back from the seven-year-
old version of yourself who’s been driving it all this time, nearly getting you
killed. See yourself as the adult stepping in to take your place behind the
wheel.
Keep envisioning (or writing down) what it looks and feels like to have the
real, adult you replace your old childhood story. Feel it. Get excited by it. Then
make the decision that you’re ready to change and take positive action in the
direction you want to go.
For example, let’s say that lonely-hearted Sally finally got fed up enough to
get mighty real with herself and face her issues around relationships. She’d
start by getting clear on what her stories are:
I can’t meet a man because there aren’t any good ones left.
I suck at flirting.
I never know what to say to men.
I’m not attractive to men. Not the good ones anyway.
I scare men away.
I don’t trust men.
I don’t believe there really is anyone out there for me.
Once she’s got her list (which could easily go on for pages, BTW, but for the
sake of example, and because I’d like to leave the house today, we’ll stick with
these), Sally can stream of consciousness journal about the false rewards she’s
getting. And by stream of consciousness I mean just let it flow, don’t edit or
overthink it too much, just write. In Sally’s case, her journaling could look
like:
By saying there aren’t any good men out there I don’t have to take
responsibility for why I’m not meeting any. I get to feel victimized and right for
staying single. I get to prove how lame men are by never being with a good
one. My pain of feeling unworthy and my mistrust of men get proven right
when I stay single. I feel like I know what I’m doing and in control by not
letting anyone get close to me. I feel free. I feel safe. I feel special because I get
attention for breaking the rules.
Again, this could go on for pages but you get the idea.
Once she’s gotten all her false rewards on the page, Sally can then focus on
them, feel them all the way through, thank them for trying to protect her (we
don’t want to turn this into a self-loathing exercise please) and release them by
replacing them with new, powerful stories. She can literally take each one and
replace it with a new truth. For example:
By saying there aren’t any good men out there I don’t have to take
responsibility for why I’m not meeting any.
Then becomes:
The world is filled with awesome, loving men, and I am fully capable of, and
so excited to find me a good one.
I get to feel victimized and right for staying single.
Then becomes:
I am powerful and in control of my life. I choose to love and be loved.
I get to prove how lame men are by never being with a good one.
Then becomes:
I love and trust men and am so thrilled to be with an awesome guy who makes
me giddy with happiness.
These new stories become her new truth, and in order to make them stick, she
focuses on them, breathes them in and feels how happy they make her feel.
These stories are her new affirmations (remember those?) that she will not
only write down and repeat and bombard herself with over and over and over,
but that she will instantly replace her old stories with if they should fly out of
her mouth or into her mind out of habit.
Let’s review, shall we?
1. List off your old stories that you’ve gotten into the habit of thinking
and saying.
2. Journal about the false rewards you get from them.
3. Feel into these false rewards, thank them for their help, and decide to
let them go.
4. Take each false reward and write a new, powerful story to replace it
with.
5. Repeat this new story, or affirmation, over and over and over until it
becomes your truth.
6. Behold your awesome new life.
Nothing in this world is permanent, including our stories. Yet we try to hold
on to them for false security, which ultimately leads to sorrow and loss. Be
willing to let go. Keep reinventing your story as you continue to grow.
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
