By Jen Sincero Published by Running Press

4. FIND A REPLACEMENT
We’ve gotten so used to our negative knee-jerk reactions to ourselves that we
never  think  to  question  them—we  simply  take  them  as  the  truth  the  whole
truth  and  nothing  but  the  truth.  But  once  we  become  aware  of  our  thought
patterns  and  behaviors,  we  can  consciously  change  them.  So  start  paying
attention:
What runs through your mind when you look in the mirror?
What  happens  inside  you  when  you  see  someone  totally  succeeding  at
something you’d love to do but have never let yourself try?
What  do  you  think  and  feel  when  you  walk  up  to  a  group  of  really  good-
looking, successful people?
Or when you try your best to pull something off and you fail?
Or when you get dumped by someone who is totally awesome? And hot?

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Or when you walk around all day with your fly open?
Or when you leave your coffee on the roof of your car and drive off?
Or when you let a friend down?
Or when you stub your toe on the kitchen table for the tenth time?
Or when you forget your dad’s birthday?
Or when you snap at someone who didn’t quite deserve it as harshly as
you gave it to them?
Notice the verbiage that runs through your mind when you’re being the most
heinous to yourself and come up with a new-and-improved response.
For example, if every time you look in the mirror, your first thought is yikes,
make a conscious effort to change it to hi, gorgeous!
If you have a complicated relationship with your father and beat yourself up
every  time  you  say  something  awful  to  him,  replace I’m a monster  with  I’m
just a little bunny, working through my issues. And then, of course, apologize
to him.
If  your  standard  response  to  screwing  something  up  is  ugh,  Her  Royal
Clumsiness strikes again, replace it with what can I learn from this?
The  most  important  thing  is  to  free  yourself  from  the  drama  and  the
conviction  that  your  current  version  of  yourself  is  the  truth.  I  don’t  care  if
you’re all, “that’s easy for you to say; you don’t have a nose that makes it look
like  someone  parked  a  yacht  on  your  face.”  Because  one  day  you  could  see
some fancy and famous fashion model with a nose far bigger than yours is who
decided  she  was  gorgeous  anyway,  and  suddenly  you’ll  feel  beautiful  and
confident  and  all  proud  of  your  nose  when,  just  the  day  before,  you  were
considering getting it sawed off.
This is how ridiculous we are.
Do not spend your life clinging to the insulting decisions you’ve made about
yourself.  Instead,  make  the  conscious  choice  to  replace  them  with  new  and
improved ones.