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—The title of my friend Cynthia’s yet-to-be-written autobiography
I have a friend who’s a professional speaker. She’s the kind of person who is so
articulate, so powerful and bright and naturally captivating, that she could be
standing at the counter, ordering a burrito and I’d get all teary-eyed: ”That’s
right! No refried beans! You heard the woman!” So imagine my surprise when,
after one of her talks, she plunked herself down next to me and demanded to
know how boring it was. I also have gorgeous friends who think they’re
hideous looking, brilliant clients who one moment think they’re God’s gift to
mankind and the next need to be talked off the ledge of self-proclaimed
ineptitude, and an entrepreneurial neighbor who can’t decide if she’s a
financial powerhouse or if she’s about to cause her family to start living
underneath a bridge.
Self-perception is a zoo.
We spend our lives drifting between glimpses of our own, infinite glory and
the fear that not only are we totally incapable/unworthy/lazy/horrible, but that
it’s only a matter of time before someone blows the whistle on us. We torture
ourselves incessantly, and for what purpose? If we can glimpse the glory (and I
know you can), why do we waste our precious time giving any energy to the
other options? Wouldn’t life be so much more fun, productive, and sexy if we
fully embraced our magnificently delightful selves?
It’s just as easy to believe we’re awesome as it is to
believe we’re giant sucking things.
Takes the same amount of energy. The same amount of focus. So why do we
choose all the drama?
Have you ever noticed how when someone you admire goes out and does
something phenomenal, you’re happy for her or him, but you’re not surprised
—of course they did something phenomenal, they’re a phenomenal person!
But to get yourself to see how amazing you are is like pushing a giant
marshmallow up a hill. Yes, there we go, we are up, we are awesome! Ooop!
We’re sagging—we are sagging on the left! Push it up. There we go. We are all
good! Wait, now we’re sagging on the right . . . We run around, taking one step
forward and fourteen steps back when it’s so unnecessary.
Instead, try seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who admires you.
They get it. They believe in you leaps and bounds. They aren’t connected to
your insecurities and negative beliefs about yourself. All they see is your true
glory and potential. Become one of your own die-hard fans, look at yourself
from the outside, where all your self doubts can’t crawl all over you, and
behold what shines through.
You get to choose how you perceive your reality. So why, when it comes to
perceiving yourself, would you choose to see anything other than a super huge
rock star of a creature?
You are a badass. You were one when you came screaming onto this planet
and you are one now. The Universe wouldn’t have bothered with you
otherwise. You can’t screw up so majorly that your badassery disappears. It is
who you are. It’s who you always will be. It’s not up for negotiation.
You are loved. Massively. Ferociously. Unconditionally. The Universe is
totally freaking out about how awesome you are. It’s got you wrapped in a
warm gorilla hug of adoration. It wants to give you everything you desire. It
wants you to be happy. It wants you to see what it sees in you.
You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that
it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that its rapids are too
rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle or
end. There are no wrong twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is
to be as you as you can be. This is why you’re here. To shy away from who
you truly are would leave the world you-less. You are the only you there is and
ever will be. I repeat, you are the only you there is and ever will be. Do not
deny the world its one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.
We are all perfect in our own, magnificent, fucked-up ways. Laugh at
yourself. Love yourself and others. Rejoice in the cosmic ridiculousness.
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